Going Home to Hamilton

I'm slowly making my way back to Hamilton. It's taken me a long time to figure out where I wanted to be. Last year at this time, I figured I was gone for good. I'm in Toronto right now but watching the apartment ads every day to find a place to call home.

Most of my friends are supportive of my decision to go back, and a couple of them are not. The ones who aren't are former Hamiltonians themselves who have left and I guess didn't have that great an experience when they were there.

That's not me, though. I love Hamilton. When I first moved there is 1992 to work at CFMU (McMaster University's radio station), no less than 6 people in the first week called me and said "hi, remember me?" They were all people who I had known in other cities. And I have always found it so easy to make friends in Hamilton. Something about the city .... I just like being there.

It's also about the character of the town. There are ghosts, there is mafia and biker gangs. There are people with PhD's and salt of the earth folks who are good people who just want to make a little bit of difference in the world.

Hamilton's different from Toronto, Vancouver and Ottawa. Because there's no real upper crust in Hamilton (well, okay, now that Ancaster is part of Hamilton, there are a few people who think they're upper crust. But that doesn't go very far downtown.

In terms of the work I do, it's a great city. Cities that don't see the need to change don't have much use for social change work. In Hamilton, everybody knows that a lot has to change. And while some would look at the problems of poverty as an insurmountable problem, I see it as an indication that there is so much useful work that can be done here.

Not that there isn't work to be done in every city ... but it is harder to do social change work in cities that don't want to face the idea that changes are needed. The prettier and richer the city, I find, the harder it is for the people who live there to look beyond the facade. In Hamilton, a lot of people are open to new ideas. Not everybody of course, but we voted him out last time around.

So I am going back to the city with more waterfalls than anywhere else in North America. And more pitbulls than any other city in North America. And a beautiful harbour. And steel mills that are both scary and beautiful at the same time.

I think that's a good way to describe Hamilton ... scary and beautiful at the same time. And real down to earth and a great place to live.

Documentary Poetry

I have been looking for a while for a term that describes the kind of poetry I do .. whereby I combine subjective writing with sounds gathered from the real world. The term I came up with was "documentary poetry" ... and to see if anybody else thought of this genre, I turned to my good friend Google.

I was really excited to find out that it is a term used (and perhaps invented) by Canadian poet Dorothy Livesay. I'm glad to see my work fits into some kind of historical context, and I am also really happy that a poet who I admire and respect and I have something in common. I think we have a lot in common, actually, since she writes from her roots as an activist.

This from the Athabasca University website:

"She offered a theory that Canadian literature favoured a mode she called “documentary poetry,” long narrative poems that comment on particular social topics and that “are a conscious attempt to create a dialectic between the objective facts and the subjective feelings of the poet” (“The Documentary Poem: A Canadian Genre,” 267). Call My People Home (1950)--about the mistreatment of Japanese Canadians during the Second World War--and The Documentaries (1968) are examples of her own work in this genre. In the same vein, Right Hand Left Hand (1977), her remarkable autobiography about her life of activism in the 1930s, combines retrospective commentary with period photographs, newspaper articles, poetry, drama, and unedited letters that emphasizes the integration of the individual history with social history. She also believed in the close affinity between poetry and music. ( Vivian Zenari )

"A Model Wife and Mother"

I love this statue.

I'm sure you all know who this is. If not, let me give you a clue ... one of the reasons why I love this statue is because of her name. When I was in India, a number of people said to me "oh, Victoria, you have a very important name". And yes, I guess it is. After all, she was the first and only Empress of India.

The most amazing thing about this statue to me is the inscription:

VICTORIA
QUEEN AND EMPRESS
A MODEL WIFE AND MOTHER

It was dedicated to the Queen by the women of Hamilton in the early part of the century.

Queen and Empress --- yes.

But ... a model wife and mother ????

I guess it depends which model you're looking at. Model wife she was. She loved Prince Albert. In every sense of the word. Prince Albert, despite being regarded as her social inferior, was her closest advisor. When he died, she went into mourning and wore black for the rest of her life. By all reports, she was a woman deeply in love and a woman who deeply loved.

As far as the Model Mother part ... by all reports, that's stretching it quite a bit. She was the mother of nine children, but allegedly thought the act of childbirth and all things associated with it to be deeply disgusting. And she once referred to babies as being ungainly as little frogs. Deeply maternal she was not. Allegedly, anyway.

All that aside, what I find ironic about this statue is the juxtaposition of those words, Empress, Queen, Wife, Mother. It makes me wonder what statement was being made about ideal womanhood. Was it not enough to be Queen and Empress?

Or maybe it was an attempt to humanize her and minimize the distance between her and her loyal subjects in Hamilton?

Well, without reading too deeply into it, the statue just plain makes me smile. Partly because of the absurdity of it, partly because it's so damn dramatic ... I wouldn't describe her face as severe, but she is not a woman to be trifled with. "Mom" is not the word which comes to mind when gazing upward at this woman with sceptre in hand and a lion guarding her feet.

I like it because it's a great piece of art, a great piece of history. With a really great name.

In the Middle of Nowhere

Sometimes I google a phrase and see what comes up. Today I googled the phrase "staying with pain" .. tough day today. And I landed upon a page called Electronic Iraq and I found these words by the late Tom Fox, one of the men from the Christian Peacekeeping Team who was imprisoned along with Jim Loney and Harmeet Singh .. they were freed but Tom Fox didn't make it out.

There are a lot of brave words here, and also words which express the difficulties of peacemaking work. Amazing words from an amazing man ...

"The ability to feel the pain of another human being is central to any kind of peacemaking work. But this compassion is fraught with peril. A person can experience a feeling of being overwhelmed. Or a feeling of rage and desire for revenge. Or a desire to move away from the pain. Or a sense of numbness that can deaden the ability to feel anything at all.

"How do I stay with the pain and suffering and not be overwhelmed? How do I resist the welling up of rage towards the perpetrators of violence? How do I keep from disconnecting from or becoming numb to the pain?

"After eight months with CPT, I am no clearer than I when I began. In fact I have to struggle harder and harder each day against my desire to move away or become numb. Simply staying with the pain of others doesn't seem to create any healing or transformation. Yet there seems to be no other first step into the realm of compassion than to not step away."

Here, Fox quotes Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron, from her book The Places that Scare You: "Becoming intimate with the queasy feeling of being in the middle of nowhere makes our hearts more tender. When we are brave enough to stay in the nowhere place then compassion arises spontaneously."

Fox adds: "Being in the middle of nowhere really does create a very queasy feeling and yet so many spiritual teachers say it is the only authentic place to be. Not staking out any ground for myself creates the possibility of standing with anyone. The middle of nowhere is the one place where compassion can be discovered. The constant challenge is recognizing that my true country of origin is the middle of nowhere."

Hope that helps when you're wonder if you're standing in the middle of nowhere. Helps me. my struggle is small compared to his was, yet his words resonate ... which means his words still live and have power.

Berlin, are you there .. Prague .. come in ...

I spent the afternoon today in a radio studio celebrating Art's Birthday. Art who? ART. With a capital A. As in AHHT ... dahling.

My job was to search the internet and pull audio clips from all the Art's Birthday celebrations from around the world. Which would mean mostly Canada and Europe. Japan had a live netcast too, but their day was all finished by the time we got to the station. That international date line thing, you know.

I did a lot of listening today and a lot of surfing too. The best thing about it was that this was the first time I've used internet broadcasts as a programming tool. And I learned a lot.

First of all, you have to get up early in the morning to grab your material because by the time the afternoon rolls around, the net gets very congested and slow. And some streams don't even appear at all ... we techologically based artists are pretty good at this stuff but we're not infallible. I never could get Prague to come in.

And speaking of Prague, I sure wish those Czechs would put the little loudspeaker symbol on their web page so I don't have to figure out what the word "Listen" is in Czech. Some of these web masters make it awfully hard to figure things out. Respect the conventions of UWL, (Universal Web Language), folks.

I also realized that you don't ever plan a whole afternoon on live netcasts. Or, if you do, you always have a good backup plan in case Prague doesn't show up for your party either.

The other things I learned were about Art himself (who decided that Art was a guy, anyway?) After listening to a whole bunch of artists paying homage to their master, I have come up with the conclusion that Art is a pretty cool guy. Damn cold, as a matter of fact (actually, it's a matter of perception, not fact).

Art is a real machine these days. All those computer generated sounds. Beeps, squawks, machine sounds. So I have to ask, where is the humanity in all the beep squawking that is going in galleries these days? Where are the human voices? Where are the real world sounds? Where is the stuff that stirs the soul?

I enjoyed the workout that the left side of my brain got today, though. I'll visit my right brain again tomorrow and be glad that for me, Art's a whole lot softer than all that.

If you want to listen to some Art's Birthday celebrations yourself, click here.

P.S. the guy with the cake above is Pierre Filliou, the guy who decided over a hundred years ago that Art's Birthday should be celebrated. He was French. You probably figured that out ....

So Long, Catfish John

I just got the very sad news that Catfish John, co-host of the Sunnyside Up Gospel Hour at WMMT is no longer with us.

The news was emailed to me via L'il Willard of the Bluegrass Express Show, also from WMMT. I met Catfish Jean and Catfish John when Barry and I were living down in Kentucky. Barry was managing the radio station, I was taking a break from working and learning about the things I missed while I was working.

WMMT had a rule ... you could sing about God, but no preachin' and no prayin'. The Catfishes walked that line really closely. Devout Christians themselves, but they appreciated the station and its rules. And in all of the time I've talked to them, not once did they say anything that expressed anything other than love and respect for other people. Truly a model that other Christians would do well to follow.

One especially memorable day, we went to the home of two WMMT folks who could no longer do a show. Mallie and Levie Gross were their names. So they did their weekly radio program of gospel tunes with a guitar, a voice and a really tinny Sears tape recorder and microphone that no broadcast professional would ever let near a radio station. They did their show anyway and it was broadcast, every week. And what it lacked in depth of sound, they made up for in depth of spirit. We went up to Levi and Mallie's house, along with Catfish Jean and Catfish John, who played in the ensemble on his slide dobro. He was a hell of a (whoops ... I meant "heck of a") good musician.

I'm glad I still have the recording that I made of that day, and I will listen to it and think of Catfish John. I am sure Catfish Jean's heart is really breakin' right now. But her faith is so strong that I don't believe she doubts for a minute that there is a heaven, and that Catfish John will be waiting for her when she gets there.

Reminds me of a song I learned when I was in Appalachia:

"I'll be waiting on the far side banks of Jordan
I'll be waiting drawing pictures in the sand
And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout
And I'll come running through the shallow waters reaching for your hand".

Alive and Well in Cabbagetown

I know. I've been neglecting my blog. So have you .. not a comment from anybody in over a month. (bitch, bitch, bitch) Guess I have to go to Antarctica to get your attention.

I am nicely settling for five weeks at a generous friend's home in Cabbagetown. I am housesitting while she is away. For those of you not familiar with Toronto, Centre of the Universe, Cabbagetown is in the centre of Toronto, not far from Yonge Street, the longest street in the world (Toronto claims that Yonge Street goes all the way up to Timmins or something like that. Which is stretching it, but Toronto and Texas have a lot in common because both places are really invested in the suffix "est" .. as in biggest, longest, smartest (okay, so Texas doesn't usually claim that one).

I like Toronto. And I don't like Toronto. Just like all the other Canadians, I have an ambivalent relationship with Hogtown (Hogtown is the alternate name for the city. Cabbagetown is a neighbourhood within Hogtown). Named because it used to be the hog slaughtering capital of Ontario. And because the people in my neighbourhood were so poor they had to eat cabbages.

I like the neighbourhood. It's a place where gentrification started to take hold about 20 years ago and then slowed down. Can't say it stopped entirely, but it's a mixed neighbourhood which has both very affluent people and also the Regent Park Community Housing Neighbourhood (aka The Projects). It's a neighbourhood where the day old vegetables don't stay on the clear out rack for long in the No Frills Grocery store, which is three doors down from the shop with the high end expensive cheeses.

Much to my surprise, this area has also become a big area in Toronto for Tamil settlement. When I was in Sri Lanka, I heard a lot about the conflict and life in Sri Lanka from the Sinhalese point of view. But I never heard much from Tamils. Likely because I was mostly in Colombo, which is a different part of the country than the area where Tamils live. I went for a walk and discovered a Sri Lankan restaurant which I must check out. And an Indian/Sri Lankan grocery store with a friendly man named Mahindra behind the counter. I told him I'd like to come back and talk to him about what life is like for Tamils in his home country.

I haven't lived in Toronto since 1990, so this is a really great opportunity to take advantage of what the city has to offer. Which is a lot. Come mid-February, I will be back to my old haunts in Hamilton where gentrification is moving even more slowly than here.

Looking forward to it. And in the meantime, really enjoying being here too. There is so much to explore no matter where you are. There is no excuse to be bored in this amazing place called Earth .. no matter which part of it you find yourself in.

Write to me! All this solitude can be too much of a good thing.

Update

Okay, so I'm starting to get "where are you NOW?" messages. So this is a very practical post just for those who want to know and who can't keep track of me (I even have a hard time keeping track of where I am).

Right now I am in Burlington, heading to my parents' place for Christmas week. After a trip back to London to spend New Years Eve with friends and figure out what stuff I need to lug back with me (and exchange clothes .. I am again living with the same 12 items, which is what happens when I am on the road. So I can trade them for some new ones from my suitcase so I won't get bored).

I am now working in a very focussed way to find a new home. In January/February, I will either be in Toronto, house-sitting for a friend, or in Hamilton, staying in the same friend's Hamilton house (she will be away .. still determining if she needs me to house-sit in Toronto. If not, I will be at her place in the Hammer just off of trendy Locke Street. Cool).

My goal is to look for a place in Hamilton for the next little while ... it's a good town, rent is cheap and I have one heck of a great social network. Decided that I don't need to stay away just so that I won't run into any ghosts of my life as it used to be ...

In terms of my longer aspirations, I'm looking for a very creative solution. I am thinking that I want to do more international work, so I would really like to find a low-cost situation where I can just lock up the place for a couple of months when I am away without it costing me a fortune to pay for a place I'm only going to live in some of the time.

Still figuring out new ways to make this happen. Maybe a very compatible shared arrangement? One way or another, I am looking forward to unpacking my kitchen stuff, my pottery, my artworks, my CD's, getting my furniture back from my sister and living a life that's grounded in one place for a while. I need some more of that earth/rock energy. The Air energy has been good but it's time to quit blowing around in the wind quite so much.

Still figuring out the work situation .. I know I can make money writing but do I want the freelance lifestyle? I've been living it now for 8 years and it is starting to wear on me. Then again, it allows me a lot of freedom. So this will take a while to figure out.

I am meeting with my life coach this afternoon -- maybe I'll find some new perspectives on this. Balancing life and art .. always the challenge.

Journalism and Soul

I am a member of the Association of Independents in Radio, a wonderful group of people mostly in the States. The listserve is full of inspirational ideas, tech tips and notes from people who are very supportive of each other. It's wonderful -- if you're a media artist or a journalist, I recommend membership in AIR very highly.

Today, Scott Gurian, an AIR member, posted this quote from Robert Krulwich. Wikipedia describes him this way: "Robert Krulwich is a respected radio and television journalist whose specialty is explaining complex topics in depth. He has done pieces for ABC's Nightline and World News Tonight, PBS's Frontline, NOVA, and NOW with Bill Moyers. He has previously worked for CBS, NPR, and Pacifica. TV Guide called him "the most inventive network reporter in television" and New York Magazine said he's "the man who simplifies without being simple".

He spoke at the Third Coast Festival in Chicago this year.. Scott posted this excerpt and it really spoke to me, so I thought I would reprint it here:

"There is a sense in which every time you choose to do something new, you're gonna be re-born. And if you do this well, each time up... every time you do a new story -- even if it's just going down to do the parade or talk to the mayor or whatever... Each time up, small or large, it's a little challenge. And it asks you to look and listen very, very closely and find the thing that you pick out, that you notice, that bounces out of the situation and hits your heart or your head or makes you angry or makes you sad or makes you suspicious... And everything then becomes very personal.

And if you do this well, even if you're working in an organization which doesn't want you to be personal, which wants you to sound like the others, the secret thing you do is you sound sort of like the others, but you put in a little bit of your heart somewhere in there... just a little. And if it's there, it's like a marker. It's the IOU to your soul. And sometimes they let you sing loudly. And sometimes you have to sing soft. But you keep singing. You never ever stop."

listen to the full speech here:

The link for Third Coast (which has wonderful stuff on it) is www.thirdcoastfestival.org

The Story of the Belly

It is with great joy every week that I receive an email with a picture from my niece Crystal in Kelowna. She and her husband Joel are having their first baby in January, and never has a child been so welcomed into the world.

I (and the rest of her friends and family) have an entire collection of weekly shots of Crystal's belly as it gets larger. Her emails are full of exclamation marks it's clear that she is entirely thrilled about this. Her own private emails to me describe some of the little kicks, flips and turns that the baby makes. In one especially wonderful email, she writes about sitting on the couch and just enjoying feeling the baby sleep.

How does she know the baby's sleeping? Having never carried a baby myself, I have no intuitive sense of this. From what my own mother has said many times to me, it's just something about mothers. They know.

In a world where we hear often about babies who are not wanted, it is a wonderful gift to share with Crystal (and Joel too) as this baby has grown from an idea to the large-and-growing-larger bump on (and an important part of) her mother's body.

Thanks for sharing this, sweet one. And for including us all in the coming of your (and our) new baby.

P.S. - the latest pictures are 33 weeks. The baby is due the end of January.

Come Back Alive

Oh, I'm on a roll today. Something about wanting to write freeform instead of getting down to the business of dubbing, editing and writing stories for editors to pick apart.

Okay, this one post. Then, back to the self-conscious market-driven stuff.

At least my research has been somewhat market-related. I am doing a story on tourism in conflict zones, an offshoot of my incredible time in Kashmir. The story focusses around a wonderful family who owns a tourist houseboat in Srinigar. They have made their living from the tourist trade for three generations. Since 1989, their business has declined because of political instability and many guys with many guns.

In the course of my research, I found a really good website -- it's called Come Back Alive . It is scary, amusing and a wealth of information.

By the way, on the map of the world, Canada is colour-coded as "a vacation with Grandma". It is also described as "one of the least dangerous places in the world". Britain is mostly harmless except for Northern Ireland and the U.S. is listed as one of the world's hotter places in terms of danger (of course the site is written by an American, and we know America has to be the best at everything, even if the category is dangerous places".

Cautionary note of a different kind: Just because it says a place is dangerous, doesn't mean you're going to get killed. I was in three conflict zones and one post-conflict zone and I didn't have any problems at all. And the sad thing to keep in mind is that people in these areas need our help more than ever. Forty percent of the world's economy is tourist-based, and a lot of the places which depend on tourists are politically unstable. Staying away makes it even harder for the people who live there to make a living.

So don't be a chicken-shit about your travel plans either. Be courageous (but not stupid .. that's up to you to decide what that means in terms of your own life.)

Citizen Journalism

I found a phrase today which really sums up my aesthetic and philosophy towards my journalistic work. It came out of a thread on the email list of The Association for Independents in Radio, a very worthwhile producers collective I belong to.

The thread started with a story about ChiTown Daily News, a citizen journalist site in the Chicago area. As usual with groups of professionals, a lot of the discussion revolved around the theme "but they won't do it very well ..." (hence the need for professionals). They've got a point but I always find this kind of discussion to be based in part by at least a teeny bit of self-serving protectionism. This group is less infected by that, so I won't be too hard on them. And the point that "citizen journalism" is often a way for media outlets to get free content (and not have to pay us) is rather bang on.

The aspect of the discussion which caught my attention was phraseology by fellow AIR member Steve Sargeant -- "There's this whole meme being discussed out there about how journalism is no longer a packaged product, instead it's becoming a
conversation."

That is what's best about citizen journalism, and why it's the kind of journalism I am practising more and more. I'd have a lot more to say about this (and I will later) but I've now got to get back to being a traditional journalist -- with much writing and editing to do. Being a "professional" journalist (who works for pay) in addition to being a "citizen journalist" (who works for free).

Some Soul in the Hammer

I am back in Hamilton for a couple of days. Right now I am at my friend Laura Hollick's Soul Art Studio in Hamilton Ontario (Hamilton is known as "The Hammer" for those who are wondering about the reference in the title of this post).

It's an amazing space with incredible energy. Most of that is because of Laura herself, a dynamic individual with energy that never seems to stop. Though the location helps too -- her studio is on the second floor with lots of windows, looking out at Hamilton Harbour and the train yards. It's also one of my favourite places to soundwalk. I woke up this morning to a minimalist soundscape of a train slowly shuttling out of the yard. Lots of squeals, bumps, frequencies ranging from deep bass to screechy treble.

Right now Laura's studio is full of 7 foot mannequins which she made herself out of paper mache. Her latest project is head dresses -- the mannequins are topped with all kinds of ceremonial garb. Some of the head dresses look like hats you would wear to tea (though not your grandmother's kind of hat). Others are warrior goddess helmets which need to be accompanied by face paint and a costume that says "this woman means business". They are made of feathers, sticks, brooms, beads, jewels ... truly opulent, powerful and designed to bring out many different kinds of spirits.

That's what I love about Laura's work. First of all, there's so MUCH of it. One of my goals is to be at least half as prolific as she is. And most important, it's imbued with spirit, confidence and a deep sense of what's in her own soul.

Another thing Laura does is teach workshops to people on accessing this kind of creativity in themselves. She also does one-on-one coaching where people are encouraged to actually do art along with Laura and find out what's deep inside of themselves.

So go to her webpage. And if you're in the Hamilton area, do one of her workshops or book an hour or two with her. Your emerging soul will thank you!



Laura's Head Dresses

Thanks for reminding me!

I got a comment from a person I didn't even know on my last post. She said "I'd love to be able to travel like that".

In the midst of my resettlement chaos, comments like that are so helpful. So many people have said to me in the past couple of years "I would love to live your life". It's a reminder that yes, it's pretty damn good. And I have a lot to be thankful for.

Making room in one's life for gratitude is becoming increasingly important to me. It would be very easy (especially right now) for me to miss my old life ... the house, the marriage, the dog, my garden. Yet I also have to ask, which would I rather have, then or now?

In times when things aren't coming together as quickly as I would like, it's easy to wish that I could have my old life back. But it's so much better now. Not easier by a long shot, but there is now so much more scope for change.

I said in yesterday's post that I both love and loathe times of flux. I loathe it because it's just so unsettled ... no easy answers are falling into my lap. Oh, but the possibilities ... it's the feeling of wide open spaces (there's a Dixie Chicks song about that). Not being hemmed in. Expansiveness.

So thank you for reminding me that I love my life. Despite, and sometimes because of the chaos.

December newsletter

Every once and a while I send out a general letter to all my friends. I decided to start posting them here because they express a lot about the condition of my life at the particular moment I write it.

Hi friends ... so many people have been asking "so where are you?" So here's where I am:

I've been back from Asia for a month now. Finally over jet lag. Been back in Ontario fora little over two weeks. I think I sleepwalked throughout the 10 days I was in Vancouver.

Ontario was (is) a tough landing. Mostly because I have decided that my travellin' daysare over for a while and it's time to get down to the business of setting up a home,getting a job and behaving like normal people do (made more complicated by the fact thatI've never known what 'normal' looks like and still don't ...) Still in the midst of bigtransitions and trying to be comfortable living in a state of flux ... a condition that Iboth love and loathe at the same time. I'd get terribly bored if things didn't constantly change, but in recent years it's been just a little excessive even for me.

For the next few months I am staying with a wonderful friend in London Ontario, her husband and two daughters (my friend's name also happens to be Victoria ... gets really confusing when the phone rings and somebody asks for one of us .. "do you want to talk to Victoria or Victoria"?)

Over the long term, I'm pretty flexible about where I'll eventually end up living .. so if you any of you have any hot job tips, do let me know. Preferably in communications, community development or social justice work but any and all jobs will be considered. I'm getting very weary of the short contract grind, so am thinking it is time for a career shift. Into what ... ?? the million dollar question.

Right now I'm mostly concentrating on getting my post-travel stories done ... now that I'm a little less tired I am starting to think about new angles, new places to approach and new styles of writing and producing. I think I've been locked into the same way of working for a while so it's time to shift gears there too.

Our podcast series "The Green Planet Monitor" will be launched on January 8th. I likely will have some of my stories on the first editions, so please do tune in. I'll send details later, as well as updates on where my other stories finally land. On my own podcast, The House of Sound and Story, for starters.

This will also be my Christmas message. Wish I could be with each and every one of you. When I look at all the joys of my life, I think about all the amazingly wonderful people who want to share this journey with me.

Adeste Fidelis and Peace on Earth
Victoria

First Snowfall

This statue of the Buddha is like many others I saw in Sri Lanka. But the setting is so much different .. I took this picture last summer at Mary Atkinson's in Windsor in the middle of last winter.

Instead of coconut palm trees and lush post-monsoon greenery, all is grey and brown.

That's what Canada is like for a lot of the year. And as I watched the snow flurry around this morning, I thought, that's okay with me.

I need seasons. I remember a soundscape artist saying once "it must be nice to have a time of silence and quiet. In tropical countries, you never get a time to rest".

I think I understand what he means. I sensed a correlation between temperament and climate ... nothing ever seems to slow down in the heat of South Asia.

Now, back in Ontario, I am slowing down too. My friend in London, with whom I am staying , was commenting that I am still in the "five days and gotta move on" rhythm of life. She's got a point ... because I have been travelling so much over the past year, it's hard to stay in one place. Yet I know that's what I have to do because it's time to find a job and start to live like a normal person again.

Though I don't even know what 'normal" is ... what used to be normal isn't anymore. Lots of adjustments still to come. So I'm trying to learn from the Buddha what it means to be detached from results, from expectations and hence, from suffering.

Doesn't come easy .. nor does it come easy to sit in the silence of winter after the heat of the blazing hot sun. Got to say though, the silence is wonderful.

Reflections from a Distance

And what a distance it is. I can understand culture shock on the way into a new culture. But coming back into your own culture after being away? Seems like it should be easy.

Vancouver was easy. Then again, I was hardly awake for ten days after landing. Then I got slam-dunked back into Ontario, and real life the way I used to know it. First there were the obvious things ... looking at my bank account (yeow!), realizing I had to find a job, wondering where I am going to live, things like that. In otherwords, real life all over again. The way I used to know it.

But wait a minute. I've changed, haven't I? What about all those sparkling new insights, those aha! moments where everything made sense? Or didn't make sense but I learned to make sense of it anyway? What about all those things I learned about myself about peace, about lovingkindness, about generosity towards other people, about seeing, smelling, hearing and tasting and believing I would never ever experience the world the same way ever again?

And I realize, I'm not relating to the world in exactly the same way as I did. So yes, the goal of learning and growing and changing has been accomplished. Except now things seem a lot harder. The number of times I have asked people, so what's new, and they reply in a monotone voice "same old, same old", and I find myself thinking "but how can it be same old, same old.? Everything is new. Every day. Can't you see that?"

Well, no, maybe not everybody can. Just like there have been so many times in my life when my answer might have been "same old, same old" too. And I promise myself never ever to give that response again. But will I? Can I keep this up .. the feeling that everything is wonderous, new and exciting? That even when things are bad, they are still so, so good?

I don't know .. all I know is that for now, things have changed. And yes, I'm back in the middle of some of the same old crap that bogged me down in the past. But I know it doesn't have to now if I don't want it to.

More reflections on culture shock and culture change in my next post. Gotta help unload groceries.

By popular request

A few of you have asked for more photos. Here are a few of my favourites. Explanation: When someone asks you "do you want to pet my monkey?", the answer is no. For many reasons. The cow is a very cool animal who I met while we were both looking at the shrine to Shiva, the creator/destroyer, in the Holy City of Hardwar.

The Truth about Jetlag

Yes, it really does exist. I am living proof.

It wasn't a problem for me when I got to Delhi. I'm guessing that's because I didn't have the luxury of being able to sleep for days. Being in a strange place, it's not a good idea to walk around half asleep. So I didn't.

Coming back is a whole other thing. The first two days I was my usual energetic self (though in retrospect, I think I might have been my hyper-energetic self). On Sunday, two days after my return, my friend who I am staying with told me I was really acting spacey. Like coming into a room and just standing there staring.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was the worst day of all. I woke up at 4 am, as usual this week. I read for a while then went back to sleep. For a couple of hours. Except that it was for more than a couple of hours. I woke up at 4:30 pm .. 12 hours later and in just enough time to see the sun go down.

I was starting to get really bothered by this. Because I really DO want to wake up and I also have three stories I have to work on. And, I was starting to feel like this is really abnormal and maybe I got bit by some bug over there that makes you space out and do nothing but sleep.

So I checked out Jetlag on the internet. And I found out:

* it is worse going from east to west (which I did) than west to east. Which is partially the reason why I could stay awake in India. There is a complicated reason for it, but in my addled brain state I can't express what it is
* jetlag is a physical condition, not just a psychological one. It has to do with our Circadian rhythms, the biologically programmed system to synchronize our body with the rhythms of the day. It is intimately tied into sunlight.
* jetlag is especially of concern to sports teams. If I was a betting kind of gal, I'd take a look at which team has had to come the furthest in an easterly direction and bet on the other team.
* I should be more patient with myself because it can take up to one day per time zone crossed to get back in synch again. There are about 12 hours between here and India. And 14 between Delhi and Toronto, so I may have a few more spaced-out days coming yet. It's only day 5 of my return.

And I'm going back to Ontario on Monday. Another three times zones to work through my system.

It's 8 am and I am awake now. For how long, I can only guess ... oh well, that's what I get for wanting to go zooming around in a tin can 35,000 feet in the air. Ain't natural, y'know ...

Worth A Thousand Words

Well folks, I am back on Terra Firma Canadien. And I do declare it's good
to be back.

I landed in Vancouver at 12:25 today, right after lunch. That was after
leaving Hong Kong at 4:45 pm on the same day. So if you only go by what the clock says, I left Hong Kong four hours after I got to Vancouver. I still don't know what day it is .. all I know is that I got on a plane in Colombo, Sri Lanka at 2:30 am a couple of days ago, spent another 7 hours on a plane to Hong Kong, then boarded another plane for Vancouver which took another 12 hours. All in all I figure I have gone almost 40 hours with no sleep except for the nod-offs I could get sleeping curled up in a little ball on 2 airline seats (it wasn't a full flight, so at least I didn't have to share a seat).

So now it is 12:31 at night and my body is telling me it's the middle of
the day. Which is what it would be on the other side of the world. Who knows how long it will take me to readjust to Canadian time... All I know is, it sure felt good to have a bath (no bathtubs over there) and to lie flat in a comfortable bed for a few hours).

And now ...

I have so many reflections, so many things to digest. All in all, it was
a wonderful trip. Very challenging too, but challenging in a very good way. I feel
like I have received a whole new knowledge of the world that I didn't have before. As I write and compose my radio stories (which is the big job now), I will share more of my perspectives.

So now I am in Vancouver, planning to stay here for about 10 days, then catch a plane back to southern Ontario (cheap Air Canada fares right now). I am figuring on
being back somewhere around Nov. 13, and have work to do and friends to visit in
the Hamilton-London-Windsor corridor. Then I think I'll spend the winter in
the northland at my parents' place zipping around on the snowmobile -- I have always wanted to spend a few winter months up there so it's a good place to be while I work on my radio works and my book.

All this is subject to change, of course. Because that's the story of my life.

Before I sign off this last post of my epic adventure, I need to say a
big, big, huge thanks to my wonderful friend and production partner Dave Kattenburg. I wouldn't have done this trip if Dave hadn't given me the gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) push and said "no, really, Victoria, you can do this. You have to do this". And was also there for me every step of the way. Some of my favourite moments .. hearing his voice all the way from Canada when he called me in Kashmir, which was again, a great experience but an intense one because Kashmir is usually known as one of the most intransigent conflict zones in the world. I really needed his reassuring words right about that point). And then in the airport in Hong Kong today (yesterday? What day was it?") ... I found an internet cafe and was sending emails out ... Dave appeared and said "hey, I'm on-line. Let's chat." We sent about eight emails back and forth to each other in the space of a half an hour, and it was almost like we were sitting next to each other talking face to face. From half a world away. Amazing. So thanks, my pal, my buddy, my friend, for creating this opportunity for me. You are the best and a friend til the
end of time. And thanks for being our project manager .. it's a pain in the ass job and I'm so glad you're doing it and not me. I'll take my turn next time ...

For the rest of you, thanks for your encouraging words and the emails you
sent and the comments you posted on my blog. Every email from you was that little bit of home that was so welcome. As for the next steps, you can hear the results of all of this (my stories and everybody else's) on The Green Planet Monitor, on-line starting December 1st.

Well, that's it. My adventure is over. It's good to be back.

In good reporter style, here's the official closing tag ...

"From the heart of south Asia and back, this is Victoria Fenner, Small But
Vital Reporter,signing off ..."

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

I came close to a close encounter with the military over this picture. How was I supposed to know there's a military base behind these trees? My tour guide was able to talk our way out of it by using the "dumb tourist" explanation. They did not confiscate my camera, fortunately.


I'm at the Colombo Airport. It's 12:51 AM. My plane leaves at 2:25 AM. Why do they schedule things like this ..???

So I'm bleary right now, and expect I will be downright delirious when I reach Vancouver on Friday (it's Friday here now, but only Thursday for all of you).

After having managed Delhi in the middle of the night in the middle of my delirium, I am sure I can sleepwalk my way through the Vancouver airport.

I'm wondering .. what meal do they serve on the plane at 2:30 am? Breakfast? Supper? And can I get a beer?

More from Hong Kong in about 8 hours time.

Winding Down

Oh Great Temple of the Tooth














Elephants, Elephants everywhere








Not great internet facilities here. So time to come home. I learned the sinhalese word for internet so I could ask for directions. That's hard core, isn't it?

I've decided to move up my return to this week instead of next. Been an amazing time and I am now tired.

Still some stuff to do, two more interviews, a visit to the two temples close to the house where I am staying. Photos, wild sound to gather.

If it sounds like I am running out of words, I am. But very happy, glad to be here for another couple of days and equally glad to be coming home.

land in Vancouver on Friday at 12:25 pm. Funny thing is I leave Hong Kong at 4:45 in the afternoon. So I get back to Vancouver 4 hours before I leave Hong Kong. Nice trick, eh?

I'll send you all a longer email from the Hong Kong airport -- I have a four hour stopover and the internet there is good. So it's a good way of spending the time.

In the meantime, here are a couple of pictures from the Elephant Orphanage in Pinnawala .. my Sri Lankan hosts took me on a trip to the interior, to the city of Kandy. We went to the Elephant Orphanage, to a tea plantation and museum, and then the great Buddhist Temple of the Tooth (there is a tooth of the Buddha interred in the temple, snatched from his funeral pyre in India and then smuggled into Sri Lanka in the hair of a princess). The temple was amazingly beautiful .. I also am attaching a picture. Exterior only .. photos inside not allowed unless you pay them a lot of money.

Not a Tiger to be Found

One of the many shrines to the Buddha. This one is across the road from the place where I am staying.


I am here in Sri Lanka. That's right .. no tigers, either the kind with guns or the kind with sabre teeth. I am fine .. this is probably one of the best times to be in Sri Lanka because both the government side and the Tamil Tigers are in Geneva for peace talks. So hopefully the peace will last. Even if it doesn't, neither side is likely to do anything drastic with the eyes of the world upon them.

I am safe and happy at the home of Dr. Palathiratne and his family in Moratuwa, just a bit south of Colombo. Right now I am in town with Mr. Dekom, the cook and servant of the family. His job is mostly to make sure that I don't get lost or hit by a car while the family is at work. Mr. Dekom speaks practically no English and I speak absolutely no Singhalese, so communication is interesting.

The Palathiratnes have a couple of busy days so I am mostly doing work at home on my stories. On Saturday they are taking me around and showing me the sights of the area. They have a very comfortable house and I am feeling very good about being here.

Sri Lanka has a much different feeling than India, despite it being so close. I will expound upon it when I get home and have a chance to digest it all. It is very beautiful here. Very green. The monsoons haven't ended yet, so we do get rain at night. The tsunami actually came this far up the west coast .. I had no idea it came up this far. People are still talking about it. The newspapers are very good here ... one of the themes that is coming up on a regular basis is the "lavish" lifestyles of the international aid workers who come here. Much to think about.

Email access isn't as plentiful here as it was in India, so if you don't hear from me in a few days, don't worry about it (this mostly for my mother). If you need to get in touch with me, Dave Kattenburg in Brandon Manitoba has my phone number here.

I Love Kerala

Fisherman hauling in the nets on Kovallam Beach

Here I am in an internet cafe at the Trivandrum Airport. This is the first airport in India that has an internet cafe. So it earns big points in my books. It's also the shiniest and most modern of the airports I've been in. The takeoff, I have been told, will be spectacular ... it's like Vancouver airport. It's right next to the sea and the end of the runway is the end of the land.

What an amazing time I have had here. I do think that, of all the destinations in India, this is the one place where North Americans can come and not have to do TOO much adjusting. I used to be quite critical of people who travelled to a foreign country and then needed to stay in a Western style resort. Now I am realizing that there is something to be said for it .. when you're encountering a totally new culture, some touchstones with the familiar are a good thing.

So now I am off to Sri Lanka. As I went through Indian Customs I briefly got a little pang in my heart, realizing that I really AM leaving. Goes to show that over the past month, I have acclimatized and developed a liking for the place. Got to say, in the first couple of weeks I wasn't sure that was ever going to happen.

Now, Canada seems like an abstraction. I think of being back at my mom and dad's place zipping around on the snowmobile and it seems like something out of a movie.

But I don't have to think about that right now. I am off to a new adventure and two more weeks of fun, adventure and education in the sun.

More from Colombo. Got a plane to catch.

Backwater Kerala

Vinod and his oarsman

Oh, what a day yesterday was! Everybody has been telling me I have to take a trip into the backwaters of Kerala. Yesterday I got to do it, and I can see why.

Best of all, it wasn't a tourist-organized trip. Here's how it happened -- my friend Vinod came and picked me up and took me to his parents' place. On the way there he explained that this wasn't just a social call ... what he wanted to do was introduce me to his parents, take me on a tour of their property and outline the plans they have to make it a tourist resort specializing in yoga, meditation and ayurvedic medicine.

Specifically, he wants a North American investor and he is hoping I can spread the word. Which I am happy to do because it is a phenomenal place. His father owns about 30 acres (which gives you some kind of an idea of their economic status .. in a country like India with over a billion people, that's a big chunk of land).

Right now the property is used as a farm ... coconuts (10,000 of them each year), pepper, cloves and prawns (BIG tiger prawns). The month to be here is April when the prawns are ready to fish and the mangos are in season (no fresh mangos right now, sadly) They also have their own cows to make yogurt and produce milk (Vinod's mother is a really good cook ... we had a traditional Keralan lunch of rice, fish, dhal and two different kinds of vegetables with yogurt. Yum)

Then we went for a walk on the property and they introduced me to all the plants growing there, including wild medicinal herbs. I needed a medicinal herbs sound bite for one of my stories, so this worked out well.

Then we came to the river, the backwater, the canal .. not quite sure what the terminology is. We got in a simple large wooden boat and got the river tour of the property. It was navigated by one of their servants who pushed it along with a long bamboo pole.

We were on the water for about 90 minutes, and Vinod and his father showed me where they were planning to build the tourist huts, and what they would look like (luxury but not out of range of the budget traveller either). There are resorts springing up all around them, but they are mostly of the eco-friendly type, spaced out with lots of room for solitude. In addition to the ponds and backwater canals, they are a very short boat ride from a large freshwater lake, and then the sea. (Vinod's wife Lily's family also owns 20 or so acres of waterfront acreage closer to the ocean that they are also planning to develop. So there seems to be no shortage of land and people who want to do something with it)

His father also told me they are planning to buy a houseboat for longer tours of the backwater. (These are like floating hotels .. there is a large houseboat trade in the Kerala district. I think his main reason for wanting to have a houseboat is to be able to offer the tourists another option).

He also plans to buy an elephant. I asked him how much an elephant would cost, "More than a car?". He said yes, but tourists won't come to India to ride in a car. Well put. There is also ancillary income to be made if you buy an elephant. It can be rented out for weddings and ceremonies at the temple. Besides, I would bet an elephant doesn't depreciate as fast as a car and is not subject to the ups and downs of the oil market.

I told Vinod that I don't have $10,000 to invest right now ... that's all they're looking for. One or two partners at $10,000 apiece would really help them get the work done. They're also putting a lot of their own money in. When you consider that there are people in North America who spend that much on a timeshare, it hardly seems unreasonable. I appreciate their enterprising spirit even if I can't do much to help them out monetarily. But I will show everybody the pictures, spread the word about their enterprise. And at the very least, encourage people to come here when the resort is up and running.

On the way home, Vinod continued the tour by showing me a resort which looks like what they are planning to do. (To get in to see the resort, we pretended I was a North American client who was bringing a group of people to consult with Vinod's computer company).

The resort he showed me was beyond description ... very polished, with thatched roof traditional looking huts with all the modern conveniences, its own private pond and garden, living room and a balcony looking out on the backwater and at the palm trees.

Sure is beautiful here. I leave tomorrow morning for Sri Lanka. They seem to be behaving themselves right now. With peace talks happening in Switzerland on the 28th and 29th, hopefully the tensions will continue to dissipate.

At any rate, I am being met at the airport by someone I know and I will be staying at his home in the suburbs outside of Colombo. What I've learned is that insurgents don't target residential areas. I am feeling much more confident now that I've had a few days in a peaceful place where nobody's fighting with each other (this sure is a fightin' kind of continent, though. I wonder if the heat has anything to do with it?)

Many things to ponder after I get home and start composing my radio pieces and writing my book. Kerala is known locally as "God's Country" and I can see why ... of all the places I've visited, this is the one I've been the most impressed with. It's peaceful, tidy, educated (90% literacy rate, which is even higher than Western standards).

Pretty amazing. I must come back here. Next time, Vinod says, not to work. One week of houseboating, one week at the beach and one week of Ayurvedic (traditional Indian medicine) treatments and yoga. Such bliss.

Coconut Milk .. Right from the Source

Madam, you want to buy ...?

Day three in Trivandrum. Nice to settle in. People are getting to know me here. Which is a mixed blessing ...

I am still getting used to the Indian style of commerce. Business pundits over here and elsewhere say that India is poised to become a major world power. If you think the Americans are aggressive in business, you haven't seen nothing until you've tried (or tried NOT) to do business here.

Every day now, I walk down the street. And shopkeepers say "you will come in Madam?" and I say "not now" and they say "you promise .." and I say "I'm here for another couple of days. Not now". They don't forget what you say to them. You indicate an interest in a green shawl and they have a stack of green shawls to show you next time you come by. It's relentless.

I have figured out what I need to do. I can only handle a couple of hours being out and about and then the constant trying to sell me stuff really stretches my capacity to be compassionate and understanding. So I give myself permission to go back to the hotel and leave it all .. and then an hour later I'm primed and ready to get going again.

I wish I could make some of these people understand that I'm more likely to buy if they just leave me alone. But they don't do things that way so there's no point wishing for it.

Hope I'm not sounding bitchy. I don't mean to ... still having fun, it's still beautiful. I do miss the dispassionate distance of North American society sometimes. But there's another side to that too.

Off to the Trivandrum zoo today. Vinod and his wife Lily are going to show me the sites of the town. It's Diwali right now. Which I have been told is mostly a northern festival but the southerners have been adopting it too. Lots of firecrackers.

More later
V

Mmmmm..

My Masseuse with the wonderful hands
Today is "take care of myself" day. No work. So this morning I went down to the Ayurvedic (traditional Indian medicine) clinic of a friend of my friend Vinod's. What an amazing experience.

I've had massages in Canada before, but this is different. The massuese was a woman named Sunhita .. she did the whole massage dressed in an elegant blue sari. It was a very oily affair ... hot oil drizzled on just about every part of my body. And the oil didn't have that typical North American pharmaceutical smell .. it smelled of green plants, earth and a little bit of woodsmoke.

First she massaged my head. For twenty whole minutes. Around my eyes, my ears, rubbing hot oil in my scalp. Then the shoulders, down the arms. She even massaged each finger and toe and cracked each knuckle. She pinched, lightly slapped, patted and rubbed. All this took placed over 90 minutes or so.

Then she left, leaving me lying on the massage table wondering what to do next. The table was dripping with oil and so was my body. I got up and started towelling off the oil.

Then she came back in with two buckets .. one with a pink kind of soapy water. She said it was Ayurvedic medicine of some kind. Then she had a small bowl of a light brown powder which she mixed with water to make a paste. We went into the shower room. She spread the paste all over my naked body, all over my face and into my hair line. Then she took the pink liquid and washed down my entire body and hair.

It's been a long, long time since anybody else scrubbed me down. It felt really incredible.

Now I am in an internet cafe dodging the early afternoon rain showers. The monsoons are over so they should be subsiding by now. But it still rains in the early afternoon.

I just had a nice lunch of prawn biryani (a rice dish) with cashews and dried fruit with a kind of yogurt dressing. The food all over India (except for the night when I got food poisoning) is great. Food in Kerala is even better. Just spicy enough, and they use lots of coconut milk and fruit.

Better still, it is very hard work to spend more than $5 a day on food here. And even that's a stretch. Most of my meals have topped up at 100 rupees, which is about 2.40 Canadian. And at that, I can't even eat it all.

More later. Still assessing the situation in Sri Lanka and wondering whether to come home early. Don't know what to do ...

Kovallam

I am being richly rewarded for all my hard work. I am now in the far south of India, close to the tip. There are coconut palms outside my window, a balcony that looks out on the waves crashing on the rocks below. The waves lull me to sleep.

I just went for a walk along the beach and got wet up to the knees in the Arabian Sea. There are lots of tourists here swimming and surfing, and I am looking forward to getting out in the water with them. The monsoons are over, the days are sunny and it is wonderful to be here.

I got to Trivandrum (the city closest to Kovallam) at 5 this morning and was met at the station by Vinod, a work colleague of Barry's who is doing a lot of his web work. This is interesting in itself .. Barry has been quite critical of globalization and yet he's hiring offshore workers. This is a good thing, though, and I am planning to do a story on how this kind of trend reduces the need for people in developing countries to become migrant workers. Ya, it's tough on us when we lose the jobs to other countries but I am starting to look at it differently. I am starting to believe that the West needs to equalize its income with the rest of the world. And this is a very productive way to do it which helps us all.

When I say I am being rewarded now, it doesn't mean that there haven't been rewards which came along with other parts of my travel. The whole trip has been rewarding but not necessarily in that kind of pleasant way that comes with being in a beautiful environment with nothing to do but bliss out. Getting to know a whole new culture is tough work. Documenting and organizing it into something that can be conveyed consistently, evocatively and factually is an even bigger job. So while I've been getting to know this culture, I have also had to figure out as I go along how to interpret what it is I am seeing and hearing. And that's not easy.

I am still planning to go to Sri Lanka next week ... I may end up coming home early depending on what the political situation is. I really want to do it but I am getting very tired of being in conflict zones. It takes a lot out of you. First Nepal, where there is peace right now but it's very fragile, and one of the main topics of conversation is the Maoists and whether or not the peace will hold. Then I went to Kashmir which was a wonderful experience but it is also a flashpoint in the world. then , just as I was thinking "oh good, I am now going to the peaceful south", riots broke out in Mangalore. I have been fine in every place, and I have the foundations for some great articles -- a travel article -- "How Much Risk is too Much?", and another on media reporting of violence and war. And lots of other things.

Today I am off to interview Vinod about how doing North American work in Trivandrum has affected him and his family. Then I am going to be doing an interview with an Ayurvedic doctor about herbal medicine, as part of a piece on how Western and Eastern medicine are becoming harmonized.

As you can tell, I'm in work mode. Took me a while to get here .. it took a lot of focussing that didn't come naturally in my first couple of weeks. I didn't really start relaxing until my weekend in the Holy City of Hardiwar. That is a whole other story in itself ... I ended up helping a young American woman who found herself in the wrong place in the wrong time. Made the mistake of saying "yes" when a young male friend she had met earlier in the day asked her if he could kiss her. He was jumped and beat up by three of his friends who saw the whole thing (might have been because she was white, or because he had a girlfriend already ... hard to say). Then the men started taunting her saying "kiss me too". I am glad that I was there when she came back to the hotel .. she was alright but badly shaken. Things could have turned out a lot worse.

Don't worry. I am not kissing any strangers when I am over here. My rule now is no romantic liaisons when you're travelling unless you've known him for more than five years.

Back to my tales of Kovallam ... there are lots and lots and lots of internet cafes here too (Question: why do they call them cafes when you can't get a coffee or anything here? Guess it must be the same reason why coffee houses are called coffee houses in Amsterdam even if they only serve pot). Lots of single women travelling here. So I'm not the only one being stared at (in my high school there was one black family. Everybody else was white. So now I know how it feels to be visibly different than everybody else.)

My hotel is absolutely lovely ... big windows overlooking the ocean, a balcony for having tea while watching the waves crash against the rocks and looking up at the coconuts hanging in the trees). And best of all, it's clean! (Clean is in rather short supply over here, not meaning to be critical but it's an objective fact at least by Canadian standards ...).

A note about my journey by train from Mangalore to Trivandrum .. Indian trains are great for sleeping in. And it's a good budget saver .. for the price of a hotel room alone, you can get to the next place you're going and also a place to sleep for the night.

More travel tips in later emails. I am back to my hotel room and then out to visit Vinod's office and do an interview.

I Wasn't Staying Here, but I appreciate the sentiment

one more from Mangalore

Mangalore .. from one of the seven hills

Just about ready to leave Mangalore. Got some great, great stories here. Can't believe the level of citizen activism. The larger story about Mangalore is that it is a beautiful, environmentally, sensitive zone where the fathers and mothers of the city are going development crazy. They (with the help of the World Bank and Asian Development Bank) are attracting more industries. Petroleum industries in particular.

This is short-sighted in a whole bunch of different ways. First of all, it's in an earthquake zone. And then there are the issues like, how is the city going to be able to provide the roads, the drinking water, the garbage disposal, the streetlights .. the list goes on and on.

India is a company that is very short on infrastructure. This is happening in many cities. One of the stories I am doing is about Mangalore and the challenges of unplanned growth. Which is a challenge we have over here in Canada too .. not as visibly, but it's also here.

On another note, I'm sure you don't need to know this but it makes me feel better.

Everybody told me I'd get sick once when I was here. Last night it happened. Threw up all night. Thought you'd want to know that. (The philosopher Wittgenstein said that when we express pain, it makes it go away. So there, I feel better).

I'm fine now after a sumptuous breakfast of sprite and dry toast. Getting on the train at 2:15 today to go to Trivandrum, my last stop in India before heading over to Sri Lanka.

For those of you who are expressing concern about the action over there, be assured that I am watching the situation. If it deteriorates further, coming home early is an option. I'm getting tired of all this fighting anyway. This is a very expressive part of the world, let's leave it at that.

Not much more .. I'm going to head back to the hotel to rest my poor battered stomach before catching the train.

winding down in Mangalore

Well, I have survived the most dangerous part of the job here in Mangalore .. riding on the back of a motorbike without a helmet. I know, this is high risk behaviour. But it was the only way to get around and nobody wears helmets (except that they're mandatory at the end of the month. Ya sure. Enforcement is a whole other issue).

No more motorbikes, my motorbike chauffeur has now left. Tomorrow I leave for Trivandrum on the tip of the subcontinent where I will be meeting Barry's colleague Vinod. He is coming to the train station to meet me .. at 5:10 am! The hospitality here is outstanding .. we can learn a lot.

I will be in Trivandrum until October 25th when I will be leaving to go to Colombo. Don't worry, I am watching the political situation very carefully. Colombo is fine and I will be staying with a lovely doctor and his family who I interviewed in Vancouver at the World Urban Forum. It will be safe, I am sure. If things take a turn for the worse, I can take an earlier flight home.

I will be fine. Just about of internet time. I found myself a lovely little shiny internet cafe that I've been in for the past two hours. Met many, many people in Mangalore and now it's time for a break. I will be doing some interviews in Trivandrum but also hanging out at the beach and relaxing.

Where is everybody?

Radio ads and radio guys .. the same everywhere (a billboard in Bangalore, where commercial radio has only been legal for a couple of years.)


My email is slowing down to less than a trickle. Come on, everybody ...

Still in Mangalore .. this morning I went down to the harbour to watch the fishing boats come in and sell their catch. Had breakfast in the Fisherman's Association Restaurant ... really good food here .. because I know local people I am getting away from the standard touristy restaurants (though room service in the hotel at night is good and really cheap -- I'm only spending $4 a day maximum on food). After all the meetings all day it's good to eat by myself accompanied only by Hindu TV, the Discovery Channel and non-stop American movies.

This afternoon I am going mosquito busting with a citizens group that is trying to stop the spread of malaria. Then off to meet city councillors. Tomorrow is All India Radio (they've set me up to meet the Chairman of the whole Corporation, which is very cool. I am going to talk to him about how he sees All India Radio working with community radio). Further on the radio front, I was amazed to learn that the first commercial stations only went on the air 4 or 5 years ago. Another 326 are coming on line in a month or two. And the predictions are that there will be 5000 new stations on the air within five years.

From what I've seen, commercial radio isn't going to be any more exciting here than it is in Canada. The marketing is the same too -- big beefy guys with cool sounding names who are trying to be funny and entertaining. Sigh ... this is not a stylistic export from America that I am happy to see here.

(Later Postscript -- when I was doing community radio interviews on Oct. 16 in Bangalore, the continuous lament from Indian community radio folks was that the government was never going to legalize community radio. Despite the legislation being on the table for 9 years. On November 16, just two weeks after I got home, it was legalized. That is big news ....)

Over and out for now. More tomorrow. Write to me!

Definitely getting more used to being here. Canada has started to become a bit of a haze ...

Mangalore by Motorbike

I am starting to make my way down the coast to Sri Lanka. Arrived by plane in Mangalore yesterday and was met at the airport by my friend Guru, who I met in Hamilton in October 2004. He's the exec. director of the Urban Research Centre and we have a very full schedule planned for the next few days.

I have already met a whole bunch of people who are doing important environmental work .. many, many people to talk to. And I am having fun zipping around on the back of Guru's motorbike, all the while trying to figure out how the women sitting sidesaddle wearing saris can hang on!

The hotel here is pretty good as well. Very cheap .. would have been cheaper if I'd gone for non-AC, but since this is a malaria hotspot I figured I'd have a better chance of dodging the pesky little buggers if I didn't have to open the windows (my family knows how much mosquitos like me for some reason).

I have a whole bunch of other people to meet and tomorrow we are going on a field trip to search and destroy mosquito larvae.

this city is small compared to Bangalore. Other things .. let's see ... bigger Christian influence here than anywhere else I've been in India. The rickshaws have names -- "Sacred Heart", "Infant Jesus", "Hail Mary" -- that's because you have to invoke prayers when you get behind the wheel on the roads over here.

Just thought I'd let you know the latest. Internet access is not as common here as in other cities so if you don't hear from me for a couple of days, don't worry.

The Same Road Bill Gates Uses

Needed -- Four Lane Highway for the IT Industry
Whew! What a day!

I am in busy, dizzy, Bangalore. I came here specifically because my friend Frieda wanted me to meet her friend Indu, a fireball of a journalist who is 70 years old and going stronger than me.

She asked me what I wanted to do and I said I wanted to focus my time on talking to community radio folks. First thing off the plane yesterday I called her and she said "The people from Voices (community radio group) want to talk to you but they'll only be there until four. Call them (It was 2:00) So I took a cab right over there and got to work right away.

This morning she picked me up and took me to meet a woman with a dynamic development and communications group. Just about all women, doing marvellous work. And I picked up a great idea from them .. they have negotiated to give every woman over 45 an extra 15 days a year in "wellness" time because they realize we're at an age when we need to slow down and take care of ourselves. I say Yay!

Indu also took me to All India Radio and I got a good conversation with the Director General of the Southern Region about how AIR regards community radio.

The reference above (the road Bill Gates Uses) refers to the drive Indu took me on to go to Electronics City, the big fancy shiny place where the big high tech companies live. The road to the City is dusty, crowded, noisy, hot .. and Indu said to me "even Bill Gates has to take this road". It stuck with me.

Another thing I saw today -- the Man with the Big Hat from Curious George. Seriously, it's the outfit the people who direct traffic (or try to direct traffic) wear.

Lots of other notable things -- fewer cows in the city here in Bangalore. An occasional goat, but fewer cows. And a lot of stores that I recognize .. Bangalore is a moving, happening, modern city. Of all the cities I've seen, this is the nicest.

Indu has arranged some interesting digs for me too. I am staying at a private club called The Bowering Institute (don't worry Dave, it's within budget anda everything here in Bangalore is much more expensive. So it's a good deal). It's a club set up by the British in 1847. At the time, Indians weren't allowed to come in. Except as servants. Now it's all Indian, the room is sparse but comfortable with hot water even (have I told you that most of the hot water taps here are because you can't buy a set of taps without a hot water tap? Purely decorative. It's got air conditioning too.)

It's hotter down here in Bangalore but I am not doing too badly. Not swimming in sweat like I thought I would do.

So, tomorrow, first thing. Plane flight to Bangalore where I will meet a person who I met in Hamilton in our living room three years ago. He runs an Urban Research Institute and we will have many things to talk about. There is also an exchange program between Hamilton and Mangalore that has been going since the '60's. So there's some good stuff there too.

Must check my email. Just wanted to pop in so y'all wouldn't worry.

Another Day in Delhi

The Scotial Bank


Yes! I am finally getting the hang of this. I went all by myself to Connaught Place to find a bank. Scotiabank has a branch here, so now I know when coming to Delhi, to make sure I have a Scotiabank account.

I had trouble finding the bank, though, and I kept asking people where it was. They would repeat .. " .. the Scotial-bank .. the Scotial-bank is at .." I think the name is now forever changed in my mind. Every time I see one in Canada, it will forever be the Scotial-bank.

I also now know how to negotiate with rickshaw drivers. Rickshaws are these little three wheel two stroke engine machines with a driver in the front and barely room for two in the back. They are all over this country like little exhaust-spewing fleas ... getting rid of these or modifying the engines would be a great step towards cleaning up the environment.

When you negotiate with these guys, you have to tell THEM what you are going to pay. So first you need to know from the locals how much the trip from here to there is likely to cost. So whenever I step out to talk to one of these guys, I name my price, they tell me they can't do it for that and I say "okay then, don't". It's all a game and I am starting to finally get used to how business is done over here.

Today I had the longest rickshaw ride I have ever had. This guy did not know where he was going. He stopped and asked no fewer than 35 people where the place was I was going. I knew I would get there. It just took a long time.

If I sound a bit exasperated tonight, it's because I am. This city and country is quite exhausting and it's now 7:30. But I've had a wonderful day and spent the afternoon having lunch with a friend of a friend at her beautiful apartment. She had smoked salmon from the west coast.

I am giving myself permission to occasionally seek out things that are westernized. Today I went into the Oxford Press bookstore and it was like being in England. Everything in balance ...

Back to High Speed Country

From the patio of my digs in Delhi


Oh joy and bliss. Fast internet. I am back in Delhi staying with the Karnai family. Just got back on a slow train from Hardiwar today ... had lots of company, lots of people who speak English to talk to.

After two weeks and a bit on the road, I have decided that there is nothing wrong with wanting to speak to people from "back home". I also discovered a good travel tip .. if you want to meet other tourists and maybe somebody from your part of the world, pick up your Lonely Planet travel guide and see what restaurants they recommend. Go there and voila! instant company.

In Hardiwar, the place to go is the Big Ben Restaurant. They serve very good Indian food but it's very western. After the previous blog post, I decided I had to get out and meet somebody. So I went to the Ben and met a group of women who are in India working on a humanitarian relief project. We went up the mountain to the Masi Devi Shrine, didn't actually go in the shrine because it was too crowded, but had a great time just hanging out on the patio and watching the monkeys fight.

I am happy to say I am FINALLY getting over the culture shock. The secret is, in my humble opinion, is to not make comparisons. Don't think of home, just be here and let this place be what it is. It is not Canada. It will never be Canada. And it doesn't want to be Canada either ...

Night Train to Hardiwar

Trying to Catch a Train

Well, last night I had my first experience of train travel in India. Once I settled in, it was pretty comfortable. Of course, before I did that, I found my way to the WRONG car (sleeper ordinary class, no airconditioning, and a couple of men fighting very loudly over a very large trunk that was taking up somebody else's seat. It was like a scene out of Abbott and Costello). It was about half an hour before the person I was talking to mentioned that there is another sleeper class. We looked at my ticket, and sure enough, I was supposed to be five cars up.

The car I was in was much nicer than the one I was in at first. I managed to sleep pretty soundly from 10 pm to about 4 am, then couldn't sleep because I wanted to make sure I got off at my stop. Few people spoke English, so I was wondering "how am I going to know if I'm there?" But I just took another deep breath and reminded myself that I have already successfully navigated the Jammu train station (no small feat) and the Kathmandu airport. I told myself, it will be obvious.

It was. So now I am here and will probably have a sleep before too long. There is lots to see here -- I will be tired before too long so I don't know how long I will be up. Found myself a reasonably clean hotel with a comfortable bed and modern plumbing (though I am realizing that the hot water faucet is more for decoration than anything). I had a shower and feel a little less grubby (I am perpetually grubby over here).

Yesterday's trip from Srinigar to Jammu was really stunning -- through the mountains, lots of things to see. I had a really amazing time in Srinigar .. though I am glad to be out of the militarized zone. There is a very strong military presence up there which can be offputting for us Canadians who don't have much of a military.

Back to Delhi on Monday morning. This internet connection is the pits, by the way -- if you've sent me an email I might not be able to answer it right away because things are so slow.

I mostly wanted to let everybody know that all is well.

Love
Victoria


Seeking Holiness in the Ganges

Ramadan on Nagin Lake

Fast email is pretty slow here in Northern India. Actually, everything is except the driving. But it's not as frantic up here as it is in Delhi and I am so glad to have the break from the car horns and traffic.

I am staying in a houseboat on Nagin Lake, which is just outside of the city of Srinigar, in a valley of the Himalayas. My host family, the Dandoos, are wonderful, peaceful people whose attitude is to take what they need and share the rest around. In the high pressure commercial world of India, this attitude doesn't serve them very well.

But it does serve them and the planet well in terms of peace and harmony in the world. The Dandoos are the family of my friend Nazir in Vancouver, which is how I came to be here. The houseboat I am staying in is called "Silver Bell" and the Dandoo family has had houseboats here for generations. Times are tough in the torism business here and it is very hard for them to make ends meet while they wait for the good times to return. Their guest books include wonderful notes from all over the planet, and very well deserved.

You will hear all about it when I get back .. this is just a brief snapshot.

One of the most amazing things about Nagin Lake is the Ramadan prayers ... there are no less than 20 prayer locations all around the small lake and when it is prayer time (4:30 am; 11:00, 4:00, and the big prayer at 8:00) the sound is amazing. (There is one more prayer time too but I have forgotten what it is).

I am doing well .. I think I said before I am not an easy traveller, but I do think it's important to do. This trip is less about pleasure, and mostly about education. And believe me, I am already seeing the world in different ways than I had even two weeks ago. The poverty is staggering. The need to redistribute wealth in this world is so, so important.

One thing I forgot to tell you about .. when I was in Kathmandu, I met two people who finally (after 5 years in applications), got their visa to move to Canada. They were 18 and 15, and I started to feel very motherly thinking that they were moving there by themselves. Finally, someone reassured me that, no, their parents are coming too.

It was fun to talk to them. They were so excited. One of their biggest questions was "do I need to know how to speak French?" They are moving to Mississauga or Brampton, so I reassured them, no, they don't. (Note to my sister Marianne -- the 15 year old is nervous about school .. I told her you worked for the Peel Board where she will be going to school and you can talk to her to help her settle in. They are leaving on October 15th). Their other questions were "are clothes cheap?", "what about CD's" and they were amazed to find out you can still buy a VCR in Canada .. those are long gone in Nepal.

People are people everywhere.

So, I am off to Jammu tomorrow to catch a train to Hardiwar, which is closer to Delhi and a good yoga/meditation place. This is more of an R&R trip .. I am going to stop trying to learn quite so much for a bit. "Try Easier", as many people have told me many times.

PS -- The men over here are something else. Let's just leave it at that for now ...

Back in Delhi

(apologies if this repeats anything from my previous post)

I am back on the subcontinent. Delhi feels like New York City after Kathmandu. Tomorrow I am heading to Kashmir to stay in my friend's parents houseboat in Srinigar and work on a story about the challenges of making a living with tourism in a conflict zone.

After that I am heading to Rishikesh to hang out in an ashram to do yoga
for a couple of days. I will be coming back to Delhi on October 9th.

I am fine and starting to acclimatize. I had a hard time eating for a
whle because I was feeling jangly and out of place but now I am getting used to it. I really am having a good time. And I have started to write my first book, based on my travels and other travels in the past five years. It will be called "Tea with Shiva -- Encounters with the Creator/Destroyer". Shiva is the Hindu God who mows down everything so that creation can begin anew. Fierce rebirth (Barry -- Ganesh, who sits on your shelf, is Shiva's happy son. Didn't start out happy -- he has an elephant head because somebody cut off his human one. But he's a god of abundance, prosperity and overcoming obstacles now, so all has worked out well. I've been seeing Ganesh all over the place here too)

I will be leaving Delhi to go south on October 11th. Here is my itinerary
and I will sent you contact info:

October 11 - to Bangalore. I will be meeting with Indu Ramesh of the
International Assocation for Women in Radio and TV.
October 14th - to Mangalore to meet with Gururaja Budhya, who came to see
Barry and I in Hamilton a couple of years ago.
October 19th -- heading down to Trivandrum -- Barry, if you are talking to
Vinod, could you please tell him I want to see him when I am there. I will send him an email but if you're talking to him anyway, please tell him I haven't forgotten him. I will be flying from Trivandrum to Colombo (Sri Lanka) on October 25th, and returning home to Canada on November 10th.

It really is a fabulous trip. At times (many!) times I feel like a fish out of water
but I think it's necessary to feel this way to grow as a human being. I am finally
relaxing. People are taking care of me, I have not spent one night in a hotel and other than plane tickets, I have only spent $100 bucks so far.

I am glad I did this.

Not sure how internet access in Kashmir is going to be, so if you don't hear much from me in the next week, don't worry.

Love
Victoria