What I'm doing ...

I haven't checked in here for a while so thought I would provide an update.

It feels like a slower time of the year right now .. my broadcast tech consultant job at Wilfrid Laurier University is winding down ... I'm working on some podcast projects and learning a lot which I need to know as my business grows .. learning how to take pictures which aren't just happy accidents (I have been told I have a pretty good eye .. the way I measure competence is whether I can look at something, analyze how I did it and do it again. Not at that point yet but getting better).

The big news is that The Green Planet Monitor has received another year of funding. I will be going to Guatemala in the fall. Other than that, maybe a trip to Nova Scotia in July ... a lot of going to festivals since it is summer season, hanging around home and doing some serious urban gardening on my balcony.

It's all good .. life is interesting and entertaining and as always, well worth the trip ...

PS - Happy birthday to all my friends and family who are April Fools .. there are a lot of them this month.

The Wild Hawk Winds of March

I wrote this four years ago. This winter I've been visited by several hawks who fly by my window and perch on the antennaes on the roof of the apartment building across from me. Since it's March, and since the hawks are here .. it is worth reprinting ...

*****************************************************

March 2003 - 107 Victoria Ave. S. Hamilton Ontario

I saw something rare and special this morning on my usual walk around the neighbourhood with my dog Ursula.

It was especially beautiful this morning, with one of the last snows of the season coating the trees. Nonetheless, I was deep in thought working on a problem that I wasn’t convinced really had an answer. I looked up in the sky, saw a bird soaring overhead. At first I thought it was a seagull, a common sight in downtown Hamilton where I live. It wasn’t. It was a beautiful red-tailed hawk.

I have never seen a hawk in our neighbourhood. I see them lots of other places – I counted 17 of them one day on a drive to Toronto. Hawks appear in my life all the time, but never here.

Whenever a hawk appears, I know that it’s a time to pay attention because something is speaking to me.

My rapport with hawks began in the summer of 1999. I was at art camp – one of the other people there was a Mohawk artist who told me that I need to pay attention to the animals that appear in my life. “Animal medicine” he called it. He said that he thought the animals I needed to pay attention to were the bear, which is about hibernating and journeying into oneself, and the badger, which is about self-protection.

But no bears and badgers appeared, so I didn’t think about it again.

A few months later I was in my second floor studio, working on yet another seemingly unsolvable problem. I went to the window to get some outside inspiration. Sitting in front of me, eye level on the fir tree five feet in front of the window was a big, magnificent hawk. We looked each other in the eye for what seemed like half an hour. Probably only five minutes, but time stood still as we stared in each other’s eyes.

Since that time, hawks have appeared whenever I needed them. One of the most startling was the time when I stood at the foot of my grandparents’ grave, feeling especially sad despite the fact that they’ve been gone for many years. Through my tears I asked them “if you can see me now, are you proud of me?” Just at that moment, a hawk took flight from behind a row of tombstones two rows away. There have been many other instances like this. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that whenever a hawk appears, it is time to pay attention and look at my world from a larger perspective.

We’ve just entered the month of March, which is believed by some to be the time when the energy of the hawk is especially powerful. The winds are strong this time of year, a good time for soaring above the earth and looking down. The winds are also very unpredictable – it takes more courage than usual to soar upon the wild winds when we don’t exactly know where they are going to take us.

This month I invite you all to fly, supported by the strong currents which will carry us to unknown places. The glorious thing is that we don’t have to spend all of our efforts flapping our wings. The gusty March winds will carry us, giving us the rare opportunity to glide and look the view from above. Don’t be afraid that the wind will slam you into the side of a building, because you’re flying higher than that. Besides, if you don’t like where the wind is taking us, all you need to do is use your strong wings to take you in another direction.

And while you’re enjoying your wild ride, think of what it’s all for. Remember that the hawk is the messenger. According to native legend, the hawk brings word to us on earth from the spirit world of our grandparents and the Creator. So think about what messages you bring to those around you, and like the hawk, cry them loudly to those who need to hear it.

Cry them out boldly – the hawk is not afraid of its power.

My Poor Little Neglected Blog ....

I have been unfaithful. I shamefully confess, there is another blog in my life.

My new blog is dedicated to communications and technology. It's for my new company Sound Out Communications and can be found here.

I will make a point to focus my attentions on both my blogs, though. The two are very different -- Sound Out is more about facts and ideas you can use in your communications strategy. Business oriented.

Heading to Central Blissville will continue to be the places where I post my innermost thoughts, ideas and perspectives on the world.

I'm still here ...moving in new directions all the time ...

A Lesson in Letting Go

Just when I think I've really let it all go ...

I thought I had a bunch of stuff in a storage locker .. the stuff that didn't get divided up properly when we split up. Mostly boxes of stuff .. papers and junk. I can't even remember what was there. Except I think most of our pictures and sentimental stuff was there. The Victoria and Barry puppets from the puppet show at our wedding. Likely our wedding pictures too ..

I'd been wondering what to do with the wedding pictures. Seems I don't have to think about it anymore. Because they're all gone ... thrown out in the junk.

This is hard. Also a lesson in detachment. I can't even remember what was in there. So I can't really miss it if I don't remember I ever had it, can I?

Is this what memory loss feels like? To know you had something but you can't remember for love nor money what it was you had ...

Roses for Kenya

These roses were in the lobby of Hotel La Mada in Nairobi, the place where I visited for the conference of the International Association of Women in Radio was held in September.

Roses are one of the main export crops of the Rift Valley in Kenya. It's almost Valentine's Day. Ordinarily those roses would be headed for Europe. I am posting my picture of these roses for the people of Kenya ... these roses, which were picked by ordinary Kenyans trying to make a living to feed their families. These roses are for you, in hope and in solidarity.

I am listening back to the recordings I made at the awards gala, the high point of the conference which was organized by the Kenya Chapter of the IAWRT. It was a happier time in Kenya, a few weeks before the election call -- the election that scarred the face of Kenya perhaps forever. The theme of the conference was, ironically, Women Making Peace.

The sounds I am hearing are the sounds of music ... drums, lively songs in the local Swahili language. Voices of women .. from all over the world but mostly from Kenya, laughing.

I am hearing speeches which talk of difficult times for Kenyan women, but with an unmistakeable tone of hope that things were getting better. Talk of the upcoming election, the wish and desire for more representation by women in the highest halls of power.

If we had been able to see the future, would there have been all this hope? Good thing we couldn't have seen what was ahead or maybe we wouldn't have even all come to Kenya in the first place.

I am grateful that I had this opportunity to see this country when it was optimistic, when people really believed that things were getting better. And that the upcoming election, only the second free election in the country's young history, would bring even better things.

These roses are for you, women of Kenya. For strength, for resilience as you continue to work for peace in your fractured, bleeding country. See these roses for the beauty that they, and you, are.

The Ides Of February

If Julius Caesar had lived in Canada, the Ides of March would have been the Ides of February (for those of you who aren't up on your Shakespearean references, the Ides of March was the day that he met his death at hands of a group of senators who justified it by saying thing didn't assassinate Caesar, they committed "tyranicide".)

In the popular vernacular, the Ides of March are simply a reference to dark days. Which is what we have in Canada in the month of February.

I was talking to a friend of mine with prairie roots today about how February always seems to affect me ... doesn't matter how happy I am or how well things are going, February is the hardest month. This year, it's even tougher because I broke my glasses. To see clearly I have to wear my sunglasses, which, to coin a well used phrase, is akin to looking at the world "through a glass darkly". When I take off my sunglasses I see daylight but everything is fuzzy. And everybody who knows me knows how much I crave clarity in my life.

My friend reminded me "this is February and we are a northern people". She then reflected on her grandparents' life ... it's always been cold in February in Canada. And it used to be much colder than it is now. And they survived February just fine. Their solution, she postulates ... they just stoke the fire, stay home and just remember that spring will return.

I would imagine that the condition of depression existed back then too, so I'm sure not everybody handled it as well. Northern literature (especially the Scandinavian kind) can be very dark .. I once sat through a whole afternoon of Norwegian radio documentaries one afternoon .. holy hell, it was enough to make you want to stop living. It was kind of funny in a dark absurd kind of way.

So no Bergman this month.

So what's up with me? I'm frustrated because I'm not focussed. I'm frustrated that things are going exceptionally well but I can't seem to enjoy my success right now.

What to do? Well, I think I'll start by declaring February " the month of Take Care of ME". This is not the time to think about all of the heavy things I am used to thinking about.

When the sun comes back, I will focus once more on the fate of the world and all the people in it. Right now, I am going to remind myself that it's time to take care of me. Because, after all, we can't take care of anybody else if we don't take care of ourselves.

So I'm going to go for a walk. Eat chocolate. Borrow a musical instrument from my friend (because I'm always so much happier when I'm playing music). Not put pressure on myself. Reminding myself that it's Super Tuesday, which means GEORGE BUSH IS GOING!

And above all, reminding myself ... it's Canada. And this is February.

Update from Kenya

This is a roadside cafe near the town of Naivasha in Kenya where me and my friend Njaaja stopped for tea last October. I saw the very same cafe on the website of CNN last week ... only this time it was the scene of people being beaten with sticks.

It is a very different Kenya right now that the one I visited in the fall. Hard to believe that things can change so fast.

I've been getting updates from my new friends .. ironically I haven't heard anything from the journalists I met ... likely too busy getting the story out there in the big media to communicate one-to-one. I would guess that those working for Kenya Broadcasting Corporation are fine .. busy, but fine.

I was more concerned about Leah, my friend who works at the radio station in the Korogocho slum. I hadn't heard from her in a while .. I was very relieved to hear back from her last week that she is fine. She is working on a story that we're not hearing about ... rapes and violence against women that are happening as a direct result of the current conditions.

And of course I have been even more worried about the 74 children in the Njaaga's Hope Child's Home. At first, the violence wasn't near the home so I wasn't so worried. Now it has moved closer in, and the village close to the home has had incidences of violence. Thanks to Fran, a woman here in Canada who is in constant contact with them, I am getting regular updates.

A few days ago it looked like the kids were going to be moved to Nairobi. There are now 90 of them ... James and Lucy, the two Kenyans who started the home, have taken in 16 more kids ... all between the ages of 3 and 5. Their parents were killed in the violence when they took refuge in a church. It was then was torched and they burned to death, leaving all these babies ... a blessing that the babies weren't with them in the church ... but so tragic and horrific that so many more children are being orphaned .. as if the AIDS epidemic wasn't enough to cope with.

So we just wait for news ... the other children I am concerned about in all of this are my two nieces Elizabeth and Emily. Just before Christmas their family decided to sponsor a child from the orphanage. Having friends in Africa is really a big thing in their lives ... they are sponsoring a boy named George and they wrote them letters before Christmas. My sister Lori and I have had many discussions about how much to tell her kids .. who are only 12 and 8.

Lori had a talk with Elizabeth, who's 12. She is a very sensitive little soul and is carrying around some sadness about all of this. And some fear too. I feel some responsibility for this ... I was the person who introduced my nieces to these children in Africa. And if anything happens to them, this will be a very difficult life lesson... and that I was the one who inadvertently brought this into their lives.

Somehow it's different to bring messages to "the masses" than it is to bring them to those within our small circles of family and friends. We don't ever know what kind of impact our stories bring in the greater world ... I can see clearly how the stories shared with my immediate circle has created awareness and change.

I have to constantly remind myself that we can't ever totally control the impact of our words. Telling stories and sharing them with the world requires a great deal of faith that our words will have the impact and results that we intend.

In this case, even if something bad does happen, Elizabeth will be fine even though it will be hard. And despite the gloomy tone of this piece of writing, I do have faith that the children will not be harmed. I'll keep you posted.

Word from Kenya

I got a message back from James of the Children's orphanage that I visited in October. I sent him an email asking how everybody is because I was worried. Here's what I got back:

Jambo Victoria,

I am well as well as my family together with the extended family (the kids.

The political situation is quite volatile at the moment but the children are safe right now.

The skirmishes have now caused the delay of reopening of the schools. we
are trying to manage though the prices of commodities have gone very high
thereby causing lots of anxiety as to what tomorrow will bring.

my business is not doing very well following the political instability in
our country.

thank you so much for your concern. It feels much better to know someone
out there is watching us.

Best regards

james.

Ten things you didn't know about me ...

A few of my friends have started the new year writing about the things people didn't know about them. So I thought I'd join the fray. Here goes:

1.) Everybody called me "Vicki" until I was 25. (when I was really little, it was "Vicki Lynn".) When I moved to Vancouver I decided to adopt the more regal version of my name.

2.) I changed majors several times in University -- I started in philosophy until I realized that there aren't many jobs out there for philosophers. I also have 3/4 of a music degree. My official degree is in Communication Studies.

3.) I spent a week living with the Moonies in rural Wiltshire in England. That's when I knew I was indoctrination proof ... they were glad to see me go because I kept correcting them on their theology. And morning wakeups at 6 am by a woman with a thick accent, singing John Denver songs accompanied by bad guitar playing .. a rare form of torment indeed.

4.) I am Catholic by choice. People who were born into the Catholic faith think I am crazy .. especially since I am a feminist and Catholic. I sometimes wonder why I did that, but I still stick by my decision. Some days more than others. I do not like this current pope and I didn't think much of the last one either.

5.) All branches of my family settled in Essex County no later than 1830. The earliest branch of the family, the Delauriers, arrived somewhere around 1775. There is a museum in Point Pelee National Park called Delaurier House, the original family homestead. Our roots go deep in the flat soil of the most southern part of Canada.

7.) I've always wanted to play in a band .. I did it when I was in my 20's .. would like to do it again. Anybody want to join me?

8.) I once shared a house with 2 crazy blacksmiths, two dogs, several horses and 25 guns. I even learned how to shoot. (The horses weren't in the house, they were in the barn). I even carried my house-mate's M-16 when we went shooting groundhogs (I'm a pacifist so I didn't kill any. Never will ..)

9.) I lived in a very primitive artist warehouse in Toronto that used to be a coffin factory. We sublet it from a man who was the current boyfriend of Anne of Green Gables (Meaghan Follows). We had the only loft with its own private bathroom .. everybody else shared the one down the hall with the people who lived under the Bathurst street bridge.

10.) I was immortalized on the CBC Radio comedy show "Double Exposure" in the '80's -- the character "Victoria Penner, small but vital reporter" was named after guess who ...

This is hard work ... I think I've gotten a bit too ordinary in recent years ...

The Wrong Side of the Digital Divide

Merry Christmas a day late, friends. Some of you have noticed that I have been unusually quiet on my blogs, my facebook, my phone ... yes, I have been incommunicado.

I am up at my parents' place in central-northernish Ontario in a small town called South River. My parents have internet, but it is dialup. They have a phone, but they have to pay for each long distance call.

I don't know whether my expectations have changed, or whether their internet is not working right. Regardless of the reason, I can't do a thing with their internet except read other people's webpages. I can receive, but even doing a simple email is a big challenge. (Some applications do work .. I've been trying to see which of my various transmission tools still work .. for some reason I can get into Blogger but not into Facebook. I can get into my Gmail account but my Magma account is hit and miss).

It's frustrating not being able to be a transmitter, but it's also a good reminder that the digital divide exists. And not just in the third world, but here in our own country. Things that we take for granted in the wired city just don't always work as well .. or at all .. out in the woods.

I hadn't really thought too much about this before my trip to Kenya. One of the panels I cohosted at the conference I attended was "Bridging the Digital Divide". The focus of the panel was to discover what the issues around connectivity were between journalists in the first and the third worlds ... I didn't do a lot of prep before I got over there because I really had no idea how big the digital divide really was.

What I found out in Kenya was: a) high speed isn't necessarily high speed .. there is not much fibre optic cable to get the signal out so they rely on satellite. Which isn't always fast b) most people go to internet cafes run by the private sector to access internet, which means that people have to pay for internet access and c) most phones are cell phones which don't work so well for internet. So most people don't have internet access. And the other thing which stands in the way of equal access is the size of websites ... many websites are now too big to load properly. I am becoming much more aware of why small is better ... some websites may contain vital information, yet can't be read properly because they're too big for the pipe to handle.

Up here in South River, there are also connectivity issues. There is dialup, but high speed is just coming to town in the new year. It hasn't been here yet because it's in a less populated area. The town will be connected to cable internet, but out here on the lake, it will be satellite, connected via a tower a couple of roads over. But we still don't know if we can get it because we may be too far or at the wrong angle from the tower. So even in a wealthy country like Canada, connectivity is not guaranteed.

Why should we care about whether or not people have access to the internet? For a lot of reasons ... but mostly because the internet is not a niche interest anymore ... it has grown to the point where it is now an essential technology to connect with the rest of the world. And if we have two different standards, some people are going to be shut out.

Like I am right now. This holiday with only a bit of internet is very nice .. I am glad I can't spend all my time on the internet. And I am developing much more of an understanding of the challenges of communicating from semi-connected places on the planet. (Facebook doesn't work at all up here! But I am also looking forward to getting back to the city so I can communicate in the ways I'm used to.

Until then .. email me at vlfenner@gmail.com ..that one seems to work .. it was also my best bet in Africa.

Editorial jobs in China

This could be an editorial challenge ... check your ideas about objectivity and freedom of the press at the door??

The China Daily newspaper group is looking for English-language copy editors and writers to beef up its international team. We offer a competitive salary package, free accommodation with utilities paid for, medical coverage, and annual ticket to country of residence.

Senior copy editors
You will assist the editors of the National, Business, International, Features and Sports departments in setting goals and working on achieving them.

You should be an excellent team person who can generate ideas and think creatively, be able to rewrite totally if needed and mentor junior staff.

Ideally, you are working, or have worked, in a position of responsibility and understand what leadership entails.

You should be familiar with computer programs used in the industry.

Copy editors
You’ll work on shifts in different departments and usually have the last word before the page is sent to print.

You have to edit or rewrite copy and give snappy headlines and captions.

You would have had at least two year’s editing experience working on editing desks and be familiar with industry software.

Writers
You would have been a writer/reporter in a newspaper for at least two years and, depending on your skills, you will be assigned to one of the major departments.

If you’re interested and think you fit the bill, write to job@chinadaily.com.cn, and send your CV and samples of your work.

More adventures in Web 2.0

I just got back from Ottawa where I did a workshop on podcasting and was able to talk to others who might be interested in hosting this workshop in the future.

My suitcase is still packed, it's a snowy day and I need to get to work. Since I'm not really geared up to get working yet, and thinking about the results of the last couple of days. It's a good time to collect some of my thoughts about the work I'm doing and the results of the last couple of days.

The Ottawa experience was a great way to find out why people are interested in these new technologies, and also why maybe they're not. My meetings were full of people both supportive and skeptical ... some very good questions were asked, which helps me understand what people know and don't know, where they're receptive and not.

a) who's listening to podcasts? Stats are needed. Those of us in the business know that this medium is growing, but hard information is needed for those who aren't in the loop. So I, and anybody else working in this field, need to do a lot more work on looking at the numbers. Who is listening, where are the areas of growth in terms of distinct sections of the population? More research. I'm working on it.

b) There are so many fads on the internet ... things come and go all the time. So how do we know this has staying power? I was more prepared for this one .. it is true that individual things come and go .. ie. last year it was Facebook and Youtube. No doubt its effect will diminish in the new year when the next big thing comes along. Likewise with all the individual services and applications.

Regardless of which applications come and go, it is clear that the internet will be increasingly used for moving images and sound. What we know as TV and Radio is going to be changing and a lot of the things we go to TV and radio for now are going to be moving over to the internet. Podcasting and vodcasting as we know it now may not be "the thing" in a couple of years. But people will still be listening and watching things on the internet in increasing numbers, regardless of what we call it.

What I am teaching is production skills ... and a good grounding in media production is becoming more and more necessary for people in the communications business.

c) Why should I, as a communications director, spend my money on internet multimedia production? I'll follow up later today with the stats once I crunch them. Overall, though, I would say it's because that's the way communications is moving. More and more is moving over to the internet. From a cost perspective, it's cheaper than spending money on traditional media and print. And anybody working in media relations these days knows it's getting more and more difficult to grab the ear of editors and producers in traditional media. Organizations and businesses will do well to take charge of their own message and bypass the gatekeepers. For a whole bunch of reasons ... you can send out WHAT you want to send out WHEN you want to send it out.

All good questions. For those of you who asked them, thanks for keeping me on my toes. I'll get back to you .. and you'll want to book a workshop .. it's a good time to start your journey on the learning curve.

Amazing Small World ...

I am constantly amazed when people from my past pop up in surprising places. It happens all the time. And these days, not just in my own hometown. This morning, I reconnected with someone in Africa who I had met in the Netherlands.

I was trying to set up an account with an organization called One World Radio

One World Radio is an international radio exchange where producers can post material to have other stations use it. I emailed the Editor, whose name is Kelvin Chibomba to ask him some questions.

I got an email back from him this morning saying "Do you realize that you are talking to someone you tutored in The Netherlands 2001? I am kelvin Chibomba guy from Zambia. This is a small world indeed. I owe you a lot, you and Bruce Girard. I have since moved from Maz Community Radio to OneWorld Africa as Radio Editor."

When I first saw Kelvin's name and the fact that I was sending an email to him in Zambia, the thought briefly crossed my mind. But it was a quick thought because .. after all, Africa is a very big place.

The course that I facilitated was a three day intensive training for community radio station managers in the developing world. It was at the Radio Netherlands Training Centre, a division of Radio Netherlands which focusses specifically on training media people in the developing world.

Out of the ten people in the class, I have heard from/about three of the participants .. Kelvin; Fernando who moved to Toronto a couple of years after the workshop; and Diana who works with a women's radio station in Ghana (Ghana has amazing community radio).

I just love it when this happens ... and this also reminds me I should send off another CV to Radio Netherlands because I would love to do this again ...

"The People Formerly Known as the Audience"

"The people formerly known as the audience wish to inform media people of our existence, and of a shift in power that goes with the platform shift you’ve all heard about.

Think of passengers on your ship who got a boat of their own. The writing readers. The viewers who picked up a camera. The formerly atomized listeners who with modest effort can connect with each other and gain the means to speak— to the world, as it were."

An excerpt from an excellent article on a website called Pressthink
I think the writer was Jay Rosen, but it said "posted by" .. not sure if that meant "written by" as well. Whoever wrote it, brilliant!

It's one of many compelling articles about the changes in journalism that are happening .. despite the protestations of the traditional media machine. Well worth a read if you're doing any thinking about the changes that are taking place in our industry.

More things to think about from the article:

The people formerly known as the audience are those who were on the receiving end of a media system that ran one way, in a broadcasting pattern, with high entry fees and a few firms competing to speak very loudly while the rest of the population listened in isolation from one another— and who today are not in a situation like that at all.

* Once they were your printing presses; now that humble device, the blog, has given the press to us. That’s why blogs have been called little First Amendment machines. They extend freedom of the press to more actors.

* Once it was your radio station, broadcasting on your frequency. Now that brilliant invention, podcasting, gives radio to us. And we have found more uses for it than you did.

* Shooting, editing and distributing video once belonged to you, Big Media. Only you could afford to reach a TV audience built in your own image. Now video is coming into the user’s hands, and audience-building by former members of the audience is alive and well on the Web.

* You were once (exclusively) the editors of the news, choosing what ran on the front page. Now we can edit the news, and our choices send items to our own front pages.

* A highly centralized media system had connected people “up” to big social agencies and centers of power but not “across” to each other. Now the horizontal flow, citizen-to-citizen, is as real and consequential as the vertical one.


Amen to that!

All about You

I spent 20 minutes last night doing one of the most enjoyable on-line personality tests that I've ever seen.

After being bombarded with too many TV ads, I went to www.eharmony.com to see what it was all about. (I often sign up to these things just to see if I have the nerve to do it and then ditch out after I get two or three "matches" and it then seems too weird.) I don't think internet dating will work for me but I did find this really handy quiz.

Here's the thing ... if you put down anything other than 'single' or 'divorced', they'll tell you, sorry no, they won't match you with anybody. But this is AFTER they let you do the quiz, which takes about 20 minutes.

I was truly surprised by how much they told me that I already knew .. but maybe hadn't phrased in quite the same way to myself. They tell you the positives and the negatives and even the negatives didn't seem too bad.

A few of the things I learned/rediscovered/reconfirmed about myself:
a) Holy heck, am I ever a Libra. And need to balance everything. That makes me come across as warm and friendly much of the time but sometimes cool and aloof when I'm weighing the options.
b) my emotions and intellect are pretty well balanced (after several years of working on it, I must add ...)
c) my extraversion and adventurous spirit is very appealing and some people want to be like me. At the same time, I can also scare people with my over-the-top exuberance and non-conservative perspectives.
d) the best thing was the overall description of me "TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF - You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able." I don't think that's always true, but it's something I strive for. With a lot more success in recent years because I've been more aware of the need for boundaries and also to take care of myself.

I also it was really curious that I came out so high on the extraversion scale .. tell you a secret .. I'm really an introvert by nature. Used to hide behind chairs a lot when I was a kid. But a radio producer I once worked with said "radio people are all introverts pretending to be extraverts". Ya, what else can you say about people who go into little rooms to talk to themselves for four hours at a time ...

The link to eharmoney is here. A tip to those of you who are in committed relationships and are worried that it might look to your partner like you're on the prowl ... you can always do it together ... (although don't look over each other's shoulder while you're answering. It would distort the results).

type in 'separated' and they'll let you do the test without getting matched up. The first few questions are all about what kind of partner you're looking for ... there are only five or six of them and you can pretend. It doesn't take long to do that part ... so bear with it until you get past it into the "rate yourself" questions.

I copied all my results and saved them in Word for future reference .. because I don't know if they'll let you come back if you're not.

Have fun with it ... and tell me all about it ...

Flight from Darkness

I just got an email from my friend Percy Paul, who pops up from time to time.

I have never met Percy in person. I met him over email when I was working at Outfront at CBC Radio. Percy sent in a story pitch to do an Outfront piece. At the time, he was proposing that he do a story about what it's like being a brilliant, addicted, bipolar physicist living on a rez in Northern Saskatchewan.

Our first instincts were to say "sure you are, buddy", but the rest of the group said, hey well, maybe there's something to it. And they gave it to me to fill in the details.

We never did Percy's story. Somebody else finally did, and it's going to be broadcast on CBC next week -- next Tuesday and again on Dec. 1 on The Lens. Check it out here.

I don't hear from Percy very much but each time I am glad because it means he's still alive. It's a tough life -- I don't think he's ever gotten his illness or his addiction under control. I did a google search on his name a while back ... and he is what he says he is. Brilliant and in an incredible amount of pain.

He occasionally sends me chapters of the novel that he's working on. It's a combination of confusion and randomness with occasional flashes of perception and beautiful writing.

Much like his life, I suspect. I'm really looking forward to seeing Flight from Darkness and seeing more about this enigmatic person who I've only been able to experience through his novel and his emails.

A Jewel from the Archives

I have finally been getting around to unpacking most of my boxes and settling in. I ran across this, which is wonderful and well worth sharing.

For every girl who is tired of acting weak when she is strong, there is a boy tired of feeling strong when he feels vulnerable.

For every boy who is burdened with the constant expectation of knowing everything, there is a girl tired of people not trusting her intelligence.

For every girl who is tired of being called over-sensitive, there is a boy who fears to be gentle, to weep.

For every boy for whom competition is the only way to prove his masculinity, there is a girl who is called unfeminine when she competes.

For every girl who throws out her Easybake oven, there is a boy who wishes to find one.

For every boy struggling not to let advertising dictate his desires, there is a girl facing the ad industry's attacks on her self-esteem.

For every girl who takes a step toward her liberation, there is a boy who finds the way to freedom a little easier.

- adapted from a poem by Nancy R. Smith. Distributed by Crimethinc, a dynamic organization not as scary as it sounds. Great work in a wholesome anarchistic kind of way. Check them out.

Writing about Africa

Animals can always be counted on for a good story

I am listening to a sad and funny (dark funny) interview on The Current. Today it's being hosted by Stephanie Nolan, the Globe and Mail reporter based in Africa. She just released a book called "28 Days", about her experience of AIDS.

Her guest was Binyavanga Wainaina, a Kenyan writer now living in Texas. The subject of the interview is "how to do really bad journalism about Africa".

His first tips -- write about poor people. Better still, write about animals. "an elephant provides a really well rounded story line". And "lions have good family values. See how they take care of their children"

I need to listen now to hear what I'm doing wrong ...

* when you need a dark story about human tragedy, look to Africa. Lots to be had.
* saying "I went to Africa ... I care about Africa" -- who cares? Lots of people come to Africa. Big deal.
* many non-functional people end up in Africa because they want to make themselves feel like they're compassionate people
* even literature in Africa was donor-funded literature for a long time ... want to get a grant to write a book? ... apply to western donors for a grant to write a book about AIDS eg. papa, papa, can you tell me about how my aunt tragically got AIDS and how I can make sure I don't?
* interest in Africa isn't always interest in Africa .. it's about interest in markets
* Africa is very fashionable right now, but that doesn't mean that being "fashionable" will translate into economic benefits for African people
* ignore stories like the economy is doing better, there are free elections, tourism is up
* ignore people who are making a positive change and only write about those who are desperate and dying countries

A couple of other points, not necessarily related to Africa:

* being an African living in Texas isn't so bad .. except for the scary insects like tarantulas and obnoxious animals like skunks
* he is commissioning three plays about perceptions of Africa which will be staged in Toronto in 2010 -- but he isn't going to work with the standard theme of "good, good Africa, bad, bad West"
* to be a writer means to be independent. He was nominated for the World Economic Forum's "Young Global Leader" award and he declined because he thought his credibility as a writer will be diminished. His reason, in a letter to

He subsequently declined the award. In his own words:

"I assume that most, like me, are tempted to go anyway because we will get to be ‘validated’ and glow with the kind of self-congratulation that can only be bestowed by very globally visible and significant people,” he wrote. “And we are also tempted to go and talk to spectacularly bright and accomplished people – our “peers.” We will achieve Global Institutional Credibility for our work, as we have been anointed by an institution that many countries and presidents bow down to.

“The problem here is that I am a writer. And although, like many, I go to sleep at night fantasizing about fame, fortune and credibility, the thing that is most valuable in my trade is to try, all the time, to keep myself loose, independent and creative…it would be an act of great fraudulence for me to accept the trite idea that I am “going to significantly impact world affairs." (quote from Wikipedia)

You can read an entire article "How to Write About Africa" here. It's brilliant.

So how many of his points I am I guilty of? Probably all of them to some degree. But I try hard not to. And I tend to spell African names wrong. But I doublecheck.

A couple of excerpts from Binyavanga Wainaina's web story: (because it's too good not to quote:

"Africa is big: fifty-four countries, 900 million people who are too busy starving and dying and warring and emigrating to read your book. The continent is full of deserts, jungles, highlands, savannahs and many other things, but your reader doesn't care about all that, so keep your descriptions romantic and evocative and unparticular."

And my favourite:

"If you are a man, thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests. If you are a woman, treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset. Africa is to be pitied, worshipped or dominated. Whichever angle you take, be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book, Africa is doomed."

Where I've lived

My friend Flora just did a tally of all the places she's lived. I'll bet I've lived more places than you, Flora! Here's my list:

Hamilton Ontario - Queen St. S.
out of my suitcase - Vancouver, south Asia
Hamilton Ontario - Victoria Ave. S.
Wise, Virginia in the Appalachian Mountains
Ottawa - side street in Nepean
Ottawa - Fisher Avenue
Hamilton - Stinson St.
Toronto - Indian Grove
Sharon Ontario - Mount Pleasant Rd.
Mount Albert Ont - Centre Rd.
Toronto - 109 Niagara St (artist warehouse in an old coffin factory)
Toronto - 144 Eileen Ave.
Vancouver - W. 12th Ave.
Vancouver - another apartment on west 12th
Vancouver - a co-op house on w. 12th
Vancouver - a co-op house on West 16th.
Windsor - Sandwich St.
Windsor - further down Sandwich St.
Windsor - Indian Road with the Atkinsons
travelled to England
Windsor - Partington Ave.
Windsor - Pitt St. W.
Windsor - another apartment on Pitt St. W.
Essex - Kelly St.
Windsor - Laurier Hall University of Windsor
Essex - Talbot St. E.
Harrow Ontario - 7th Concession
Ruscom Ontario - tiny farming village where my ancestors settled.

So there you go. Twenty nine places in half a century. I don't think I have lived more places than Flora. Of course, if I counted the number of couches I've slept on, especially in the last three years, I win!

The Future is Radio 2.0

I have been looking for a way to describe the convergence which is happening between radio and the internet. There is a big shift underway which is somewhat about radio, somewhat about the internet ... the bottom line being that something is changing and I couldn't define what it is.

Today I got a post from an international development radio colleague of mine called Local Radio 2.0. And finally I got the description/term I was looking for.

It comes from the term Web 2.0, which is the phrase referring to the new interactive capabilities of the internet as demonstrated by sites like Facebook, myspace and other social networking sites. It refers to a more general phenomena -- as Internet guru Wayne MacPhail so aptly puts it "the internet is now a conversation". And the internet allows all of us to contribute to the dialogue about the ongoing progress of the world ... we are not just passive consumers of information. We are producers.

The internet is also turning radio into a conversation. The biggest thing is that we can all create our own radio stations, and our own audio content. We can do podcasts, we can have shoutcasts, we can post sounds and images of ourselves. The internet is our transmitter.

How this will affect the transmitters we have come to know ... and the radio stations that use them ... remains to be seen. If you turn on the radio right now, you won't hear that it's significantly different than it was fifteen years ago. That is going to change, though. I don't have my crystal ball (or my crystal transmitter) handy so I am not yet hearing what that's going to mean. But it will mean something, and that something will be huge. The change may be quick, it may take place over a long time.

All I know is that we in traditional radio have to start thinking laterally and start to think of radio as the conversation that the internet is becoming.

If you want more food for thought about this, there is a conference in Kuala Lumpur in December addressing some of these issues. You can find the information on the site of the World Electronic Media Forum.

Needless to say I would LOVE to go. But I can't go anywhere for a bit .. meanwhile, I just got an invitation to speak in Norway in March ... Malaysia will have to wait for now.