Reflections from a Distance

And what a distance it is. I can understand culture shock on the way into a new culture. But coming back into your own culture after being away? Seems like it should be easy.

Vancouver was easy. Then again, I was hardly awake for ten days after landing. Then I got slam-dunked back into Ontario, and real life the way I used to know it. First there were the obvious things ... looking at my bank account (yeow!), realizing I had to find a job, wondering where I am going to live, things like that. In otherwords, real life all over again. The way I used to know it.

But wait a minute. I've changed, haven't I? What about all those sparkling new insights, those aha! moments where everything made sense? Or didn't make sense but I learned to make sense of it anyway? What about all those things I learned about myself about peace, about lovingkindness, about generosity towards other people, about seeing, smelling, hearing and tasting and believing I would never ever experience the world the same way ever again?

And I realize, I'm not relating to the world in exactly the same way as I did. So yes, the goal of learning and growing and changing has been accomplished. Except now things seem a lot harder. The number of times I have asked people, so what's new, and they reply in a monotone voice "same old, same old", and I find myself thinking "but how can it be same old, same old.? Everything is new. Every day. Can't you see that?"

Well, no, maybe not everybody can. Just like there have been so many times in my life when my answer might have been "same old, same old" too. And I promise myself never ever to give that response again. But will I? Can I keep this up .. the feeling that everything is wonderous, new and exciting? That even when things are bad, they are still so, so good?

I don't know .. all I know is that for now, things have changed. And yes, I'm back in the middle of some of the same old crap that bogged me down in the past. But I know it doesn't have to now if I don't want it to.

More reflections on culture shock and culture change in my next post. Gotta help unload groceries.

By popular request

A few of you have asked for more photos. Here are a few of my favourites. Explanation: When someone asks you "do you want to pet my monkey?", the answer is no. For many reasons. The cow is a very cool animal who I met while we were both looking at the shrine to Shiva, the creator/destroyer, in the Holy City of Hardwar.

The Truth about Jetlag

Yes, it really does exist. I am living proof.

It wasn't a problem for me when I got to Delhi. I'm guessing that's because I didn't have the luxury of being able to sleep for days. Being in a strange place, it's not a good idea to walk around half asleep. So I didn't.

Coming back is a whole other thing. The first two days I was my usual energetic self (though in retrospect, I think I might have been my hyper-energetic self). On Sunday, two days after my return, my friend who I am staying with told me I was really acting spacey. Like coming into a room and just standing there staring.

Yesterday (Tuesday) was the worst day of all. I woke up at 4 am, as usual this week. I read for a while then went back to sleep. For a couple of hours. Except that it was for more than a couple of hours. I woke up at 4:30 pm .. 12 hours later and in just enough time to see the sun go down.

I was starting to get really bothered by this. Because I really DO want to wake up and I also have three stories I have to work on. And, I was starting to feel like this is really abnormal and maybe I got bit by some bug over there that makes you space out and do nothing but sleep.

So I checked out Jetlag on the internet. And I found out:

* it is worse going from east to west (which I did) than west to east. Which is partially the reason why I could stay awake in India. There is a complicated reason for it, but in my addled brain state I can't express what it is
* jetlag is a physical condition, not just a psychological one. It has to do with our Circadian rhythms, the biologically programmed system to synchronize our body with the rhythms of the day. It is intimately tied into sunlight.
* jetlag is especially of concern to sports teams. If I was a betting kind of gal, I'd take a look at which team has had to come the furthest in an easterly direction and bet on the other team.
* I should be more patient with myself because it can take up to one day per time zone crossed to get back in synch again. There are about 12 hours between here and India. And 14 between Delhi and Toronto, so I may have a few more spaced-out days coming yet. It's only day 5 of my return.

And I'm going back to Ontario on Monday. Another three times zones to work through my system.

It's 8 am and I am awake now. For how long, I can only guess ... oh well, that's what I get for wanting to go zooming around in a tin can 35,000 feet in the air. Ain't natural, y'know ...

Worth A Thousand Words

Well folks, I am back on Terra Firma Canadien. And I do declare it's good
to be back.

I landed in Vancouver at 12:25 today, right after lunch. That was after
leaving Hong Kong at 4:45 pm on the same day. So if you only go by what the clock says, I left Hong Kong four hours after I got to Vancouver. I still don't know what day it is .. all I know is that I got on a plane in Colombo, Sri Lanka at 2:30 am a couple of days ago, spent another 7 hours on a plane to Hong Kong, then boarded another plane for Vancouver which took another 12 hours. All in all I figure I have gone almost 40 hours with no sleep except for the nod-offs I could get sleeping curled up in a little ball on 2 airline seats (it wasn't a full flight, so at least I didn't have to share a seat).

So now it is 12:31 at night and my body is telling me it's the middle of
the day. Which is what it would be on the other side of the world. Who knows how long it will take me to readjust to Canadian time... All I know is, it sure felt good to have a bath (no bathtubs over there) and to lie flat in a comfortable bed for a few hours).

And now ...

I have so many reflections, so many things to digest. All in all, it was
a wonderful trip. Very challenging too, but challenging in a very good way. I feel
like I have received a whole new knowledge of the world that I didn't have before. As I write and compose my radio stories (which is the big job now), I will share more of my perspectives.

So now I am in Vancouver, planning to stay here for about 10 days, then catch a plane back to southern Ontario (cheap Air Canada fares right now). I am figuring on
being back somewhere around Nov. 13, and have work to do and friends to visit in
the Hamilton-London-Windsor corridor. Then I think I'll spend the winter in
the northland at my parents' place zipping around on the snowmobile -- I have always wanted to spend a few winter months up there so it's a good place to be while I work on my radio works and my book.

All this is subject to change, of course. Because that's the story of my life.

Before I sign off this last post of my epic adventure, I need to say a
big, big, huge thanks to my wonderful friend and production partner Dave Kattenburg. I wouldn't have done this trip if Dave hadn't given me the gentle (and sometimes not so gentle) push and said "no, really, Victoria, you can do this. You have to do this". And was also there for me every step of the way. Some of my favourite moments .. hearing his voice all the way from Canada when he called me in Kashmir, which was again, a great experience but an intense one because Kashmir is usually known as one of the most intransigent conflict zones in the world. I really needed his reassuring words right about that point). And then in the airport in Hong Kong today (yesterday? What day was it?") ... I found an internet cafe and was sending emails out ... Dave appeared and said "hey, I'm on-line. Let's chat." We sent about eight emails back and forth to each other in the space of a half an hour, and it was almost like we were sitting next to each other talking face to face. From half a world away. Amazing. So thanks, my pal, my buddy, my friend, for creating this opportunity for me. You are the best and a friend til the
end of time. And thanks for being our project manager .. it's a pain in the ass job and I'm so glad you're doing it and not me. I'll take my turn next time ...

For the rest of you, thanks for your encouraging words and the emails you
sent and the comments you posted on my blog. Every email from you was that little bit of home that was so welcome. As for the next steps, you can hear the results of all of this (my stories and everybody else's) on The Green Planet Monitor, on-line starting December 1st.

Well, that's it. My adventure is over. It's good to be back.

In good reporter style, here's the official closing tag ...

"From the heart of south Asia and back, this is Victoria Fenner, Small But
Vital Reporter,signing off ..."

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

I came close to a close encounter with the military over this picture. How was I supposed to know there's a military base behind these trees? My tour guide was able to talk our way out of it by using the "dumb tourist" explanation. They did not confiscate my camera, fortunately.


I'm at the Colombo Airport. It's 12:51 AM. My plane leaves at 2:25 AM. Why do they schedule things like this ..???

So I'm bleary right now, and expect I will be downright delirious when I reach Vancouver on Friday (it's Friday here now, but only Thursday for all of you).

After having managed Delhi in the middle of the night in the middle of my delirium, I am sure I can sleepwalk my way through the Vancouver airport.

I'm wondering .. what meal do they serve on the plane at 2:30 am? Breakfast? Supper? And can I get a beer?

More from Hong Kong in about 8 hours time.