Flying out of Africa

I am going back to my journal to the thoughts I wrote while I was in Africa. This entry was written on October 9th on the plane, about 15,000 feet over Kenya.

For the first time (or maybe the second) I am feeling a small rush of emotion. Throughout this trip my emotions have felt damped down a bit. Which is good. I've been able to feel exhiliration but not fear (except a couple of minor times .. like riding on the matatus yesterday ... these crazy overpacked busses that get people around the city. And almost getting lost in a crowd of 50,000 at a presidential rally in Nakuru.)

I am doing much better at travelling -- the culture shock wasn't as great as it was in India last year. And overall, I was much more relaxed.

I was able to do more this time ... last year I never would have had the emotional strength to go into a place like Korogocho. And I don't think I would have been as free and relaxed as I was with the kids at the orphanage.

I also look at how I've changed as a journalist. I'm not as rigid as I used to be, both in my approach to my stories and also how I deal with the people who are in muy stories. I'm much more relaxed about pulling out my mike, and because of this, I've come back with a wider range of material.

This has been a goal of mine for the last 3 years -- to merge the things I've learned about compassion and justice which I've (slowly) learned to apply to myself .. and place my work within that same compassionate framework. Simply put, to get to the point where I am approaching every story from a place of love, passion, equality and fairness. Rather than frustration and anger.

I am sad to see how many journalists approach their work from fear. Which is why we get stories that are often so angry. And how the traditional journalistic method of "objectivity" often serves to distance us from ourselves.

My goal is to integrate the inner self with the outer world in a ways that reflects connection with the world outside of ourselves. Rather than distance and disconnection, which is the state of much contemporary journalism.

Not sure how I am going to do this yet .... not even sure what my new working definitions are. All I know is that there is a different way to write about the world than the one I've be taught ....