Distraction Addiction and the Internet

I subscribe to a newsletter by Eric Maisel, a psychologist who works specifically with artists. The focus of his newsletter and much of his work are about getting out of your own way and getting writing. Or painting. Or dancing. Or whatever.

His books are really good ... one of my favourite ones is "The Van Gogh Blues -- The Creative Person's Path through Depression". Even if you don't have this particular problem it is still very useful. And so are his other books, written to help us unleash all the buried creativity and turn our thoughts and emotions into something useful that the rest of the world can relate to.

Click here for his website.

In this week's email newsletter, he addressed something which struck close to home ... being a person who really enjoys my virtual on-line life (maybe a bit too much).
Here is an excerpt:

The Distraction Addictions
By: "Eric Maisel" www.ericmaisel.com

Hello, everybody:

I’ve thought a lot about those special addictions that might be dubbed the distraction addictions, addictions like compulsive Internet surfing, online shopping, and video game playing that have sprung up alongside our technological advances. These new addictions are a lure for everybody, but they are especially alluring to folks like
full-time writers who spend their working days on the computer a mere split second away from Internet access.

If we are even minimally anxious, resistant, discouraged, uncertain or unmotivated and therefore eager to find some way to avoid getting on with our writing, how strong the pull is to distract ourselves with a beckoning, right-at-hand Internet possibility. The pull to avoid our work can prove so strong that it is fair to call our flight compulsive and to characterize our behavior in real and not metaphoric terms as an addiction. How many millions of hours are writers losing to the distraction addictions? And insofar as these behaviors represent a real addiction, the solution isn’t an easy one—what’s required is nothing less than a full-fledged recovery program.

Something similarly real, poignant, and prevalent are the adrenaline addictions. Here a person who is addicted to fast driving, fast living, risk-taking and other hormonal wildness is using the body’s ability to create excitement as a substitute for the earned excitement that comes with nailing a page of the novel he or she is writing. How much easier it is to get a rush by hopping on your motorcycle and racing down the road than by canalizing your energy, channeling your being into your creative work, and waiting for the rush of good adrenal feeling that may not come until late this afternoon—or next week—or not at all.

The distraction addictions and the adrenaline addictions are existential cheap thrills. We have to guard against them, and deal with them forthrightly if they’ve gotten their claws into us, with as much honesty and care as we are obliged to deal with anything with the power to rob us of our time, energy, and authenticity. A little Internet surfing, like a little social drinking, is no problem whatsoever. But when you begin to lose control, the negative consequences and the feelings of guilt and shame commence, and you know, even as you have trouble admitting it, that you have a problem—...well, you do.

If some form of distraction addiction or adrenaline addiction is a significant reality in your life, share your story with me and, with your permission, I’ll pass a few such stories along in this newsletter. I know that we’d all love to hear, so that we can begin to understand them moreclearly and deal with them more effectively.

Taking up Less Space on the Planet

Aerial view of Bangalore India


Selling my 110 year old Victorian house was the second hardest thing I've ever had to do. Leaving behind my gardens with my 80 year old heritage roses, my big maple tree in the back yard, the high ceilings and the spacious rooms was a huge loss. At the time, I didn't want to live anywhere else.

So I hit the road and decided not to live anywhere for a while. I came back to Hamilton in February and started to feel like it was time to settle in. I went to the opposite extreme and got myself an average-sized one bedroom apartment.

And you know, it's okay. I don't miss my old house the way I thought I would. There are a lot of pluses -- starting with $300 less in utility bills. And I'm not buying so much anymore because there's no extra space to put things in. When I had the house, there was always a blank wall to fill, a spot that would be perfect for the chair I saw in the antique store. In the apartment, I only have enough space for what I have.

And I even have a garden ... in pots on my spacious balcony. No weeding to do, no leaves to rake. I even have a couple of tomato plants in production right now .. there aren't a lot of tomatoes on it, but they are really good.

I think I've begun to shift my thinking because of all the other homes I've seen in my various travels. New York City --- everybody has small apartments there. After visiting friends and finding out how much rent costs in the big apple, I can understand why the New York style of decorating is sparse .. because nobody has any money left to buy much after the rent is paid.

And Delhi -- the family I stayed with in India had a two bedroom flat. Ten people lived there. Eleven, counting me. And it worked. It's all about the rhythm you establish with the people with whom you live ... some people get beds, others roll out the sleeping mat on the floor. You do what you need to do.

I'm thinking more and more these days about sustainability .. both ecologically and economically. Standing on the sidewalk looking at my big house, I can see now that we had more than we needed. It is this kind of living that leads to urban sprawl. Mind you, our house was not built recently on good farmland. But it's the same suburban attitudes ... that we all need three bathrooms, a guestroom, a family room, a living room. In the case of families, I can see the need for larger spaces. But for the two of us, all that space is wasteful.

Last year I went to the World Urban Forum in Vancouver. The predominant theme was that soon, very soon, there will be more people living in cities than in rural areas. Everyone agreed, we need to figure out ways of creating living space for more people.

I think part of the job is to change our definition of what constitutes a good life. We don't have to have as much as we think we need.

Small though it is, I like my little place. If I go into a larger house, I want it to be shared space. Because we all need to share what we have with each other as resources get scarcer and scarcer. Looking at it now, I haven't lost anything. I've gained a new understanding about how I need to live on this planet.

On-line vs. non-line

The shape of things to come -- an online meeting through the computer with Vancouver, Toronto and some city in Poland ...


A friend of mine told me today how much he likes my blog. And I got to thinking how little I've paid attention to my blog since Facebook came along. Oh, the seductiveness of these new little sirens on the Internet makes us all faithless lovers.

I'm rather culture shocked by all these new gadgets. I consider it important to keep up with all the new trends and ways that people are using the internet. Partly out of interest but mostly because I don't think you can do participatory media work without keeping up.

And there's so much to learn. Life was simple when there were blogs. Blogs are now so ten-minutes-ago. Know how I can tell? When people who were positively internet phobic are showing up on blogs, you know they're becoming pretty standard fare.

Same is becoming true with Facebook. I just got a friend invitation from somebody I hadn't heard from in a long time who accepted my invitation to be a Facebook friend. (I sent the invitation about three months ago, so it took a bit of thought on his part). So then I went to his listing and hit "view friends" and there were no friends there. So he still doesn't quite get it ... a Facebook page with no friends. But at least he's there. It's a start, pretty good for a person who has never shown up in a Google search. That's how internet-absent he is. Geez, even my grandmother shows up in Google searches and she's been dead for 15 years.

I am getting quite boggled (bloggled?) by it all. I just signed up with Ning, on the advice of the Exalted One Wayne MacPhail (knower of all things in the new generation Web ... you can bow down to him in homage at www.w8nc.com). I look at his Facebook site every day to find out what the latest is .. and there's always something new.

It takes a long time to figure out how to integrate a lot of those new apps in communications projects and daily life. I still don't understand all of the implications. I recommend to people that they try out some of these new things ... only by using them can you really start to understand the impact they're having on society. And your kids.

Had a discussion yesterday with someone who refuses to be a presence on the internet because he doesn't want it to replace his personal relationships face-to-face. He told me "I've only got five people I consider to be my friends. And I want to see them in person, not on the internet". And that's fair enough .. one of the things I've heard said about friendships these days is that many people's pool of friends is wide, but shallow. He prefers narrow and deep.

I'm pretty picky about to whom I attach the word "friend" as well. Even so, I would describe my pool as deep and wide. I enjoy having easy access to my friends through the internet. If I could sit down with a friend for a beer, I'd rather do that. But I can't do that with most of them because they're all over the place.

That's the point, I think. I don't want to see people live all their lives in virtual reality. But using virtual reality to augment life on non-line is valid.

It's all a question of balance. And using new tools to enhance your life. Not take over it.

I still love being a geek-girl ...

When things fall apart ...

I don't know what it is about July of 2007. For some reason, a lot of things are falling apart for a lot of people in my life right now.

Several people are in a state of confusion, not sure where they should land and what they need to do to get there. It's not as desperate as "is my parachute going to open or am I going to get schmucked on the ground?" but there is a lot of uneasiness around anyway.

Several organizations I am involved with, or peripherally involved with, are going through some troubles right now. In my own life, the job that was supposed to provide me a financial base for the forseeable future is on the verge of collapse. I've only been involved with this group for several months, so I'm not sad about this so much for me ... it's an organization which has been in existence for almost twenty years. A lot of people have put a lot of heart and soul into this group. I'm mostly sad to watch their hopes and dreams whither away. It may not come to that, but it's looking like shutting down is a distinct possibility.

And there are a couple of other groups in town (many, actually) that are living a tenuous existence .. from grant to grant, miracle to miracle.

The biggest problem is that people get tired and burn out .. I wish we could just do the work and be able to forget about mere survival for a while. If that were possible, we could all get to the business and art of building our communities. As it is, we're just treading water.

This is not a lament, though. And regardless of what happens, I'll be okay. I've learned a lot about resilience throughout my life, especially in the last couple of years.

Some of my reflections about change:

1) change is cyclical. What seems to be insurmountable usually works out in the end.
2) change happens all the time. But sometimes it gets more dramatic than at other times. It's not that change wasn't happening before a particular dramatic event happens. It's just that most of the time it doesn't come roaring in ... most of the time it's more subtle than that. So nothing's really different except the intensity. Same old, same old.
3) the more you try to force things to resolve themselves, the worse it's going to be. That doesn't mean you should quit trying. It's about the kind of trying you do .. the times I ride out the changes the best are the times when I am able to give up attachments to particular outcomes. For example, maybe this organization I'm working with will come through the crisis. Or maybe it won't. Whatever happens, it won't be the end of the story. The old systems will evolve into new ones.

My wise mountainwoman friend Angie told me a story about her Granny that has stayed with me through the years. Her Granny was widely acknowledged to have powers that people couldn't explain. When Angie asked her "Granny, where does it come from?", her Granny just said "sshhh .. we don't talk about such things". Because if you try to find the source of the power, it will leave you.

"Not FROM me", Granny said, "THROUGH me".

Hard mantra to put into practice ... but a profound statement about reducing our ego investment in whatever's happening around you. And it works when you can manage it.

Living on the Fault Line

I just got back from doing a really compelling interview.

I am working on my documentary about the family I stayed with in Kashmir, India, in the fall. I have turned the story into a print piece that will be coming out in Mayday Magazine this month. My radio piece (the first one anyway) is just about done and will be broadcast/podcast sometime over the next two weeks.

Those two pieces focus on the lives of the Muslim family I stayed with. I had many, many questions after I left than I had when I first got there, and the more I learn, seems the more complex it gets.

Some of the stories that I work on are disposable .. I write them and forget them. Then there are the stories that stay with you .. it's not so much that I found the story. Rather, the story found me. This is one of them.

A friend of mine casually mentioned that she had a student in her class from Kashmir, and then asked "you went there, didn't you?". She told me more about him .. he's a Hindu from Kashmir, originally from Srinagar, where I had been.

I really wanted to talk to him because there aren't that many Hindus in Kashmir anymore .. a lot of them had left or were driven out when the conflict intensified in 1989. This was a piece to the story I didn't really know a lot about yet. So I got together with Raj this morning. I will post the entire interview on rabble.ca at the same time as I post the documentary.

What was so remarkable about it? What it demonstrated to me was the significance of Kashmir to this young Hindu man .. it's not just holy to Muslims. Even though he had left Kashmir when he was three, Raj referred to Kashmir as a Mecca for Hindus too. And not just Hindus and Muslims. Many people believe that the crucifixion didn't kill Christ ... that his disciples spirited him and Mother Mary away to Kashmir. There have also been genetic tests done showing that Kashmiris have Jewish blood.

Raj says he can remember his family's house, his family's lifestyle and leaving Kashmir. He talked about his aunt who was killed in a bomb blast. He doesn't remember a lot because he was only three. But he is proud to be a Kashmiri even though he is in exile. He would like to go back for a visit but says it isn't safe for a Hindu.

I asked him the question that had been on my mind ever since coming back ... was I brave to go there, naive, or a combination of the two? I asked him if he would recommend that his friends go to Kashmir. He answered, if they are Muslim, yes. Hindu, no. And if you're any other nationality, also no.

But haven't things settled down now, I asked? Yes, they have, he said. Because relations between Pakistan and India are now better? He said he didn't think that was it ... he thinks that the jihadis who were active in Kashmir in past years are now active in other parts of the world. Like Afghanistan.

I tried to get to the heart of his belief about Kashmiri Muslims -- explaining that the fear, the bloodshed, the fighting, was not at all what I experienced living with the Dandoo family. He said "Asian Muslims are different. They come from different traditions." Muslims, Hindus, Christians and Jews all lived in peace for many years. This is a type of Islam that has been imported into Kashmir from elsewhere, he told me. And the Muslims in Kashmir are going through a crisis of identity, not knowing who they are anymore.

I have been looking for a metaphor that symbolizes what I perceived while I was there. Raj gave me the metaphor I was looking for ... this is India's fault line, he said, shifting all the time. Sometimes dramatically, sometimes subtley, but always shifting.

If there is no huge shift, things can continue on as they have. But the violent shift that changes everything could happen at any time.

And nobody knows when.

Another Perspective on American Media

I really enjoyed this post from an international listserve in India --

Responding to this ad:

Wanted: Journalists from the Developing World to come to the U.S. for fantastic journalism training opportunity. Apply now!

The Humphrey Fellowship Program offers a ten-month stay at a leading journalism college in the U.S. to study journalism and undertake professional affiliations at top U.S. news organizations.

The response:

What will they study? the art of embedded journalism, the skills needed to gloss over issues when reporting on politicians, the ability to turn any serious discussion into a sound bite?

Why not do it the other way, encourage the Humphrey Fellowship to spend its money on sending young US journalists to the Third World, to understand how to accomplish serious reportage under the most trying circumstances, without fear or favour and often without reward? Who knows what they may learn - perhaps English.

a radio goodbye ..

It was with a heavy heart that I received the news this morning of the death of Robert Chesterman.

Rob was a radio features and drama producer with CBC for many years in Vancouver. I went to Vancouver in the early '80's .. one of the reasons being that I wanted to work with this man. I had heard some of his arts programs on CBC Stereo when I was back in Windsor in 1981. I even sold a piece to his national network program "Audience" ... an interview with renowned flautist Jean Pierre Rampal. Something about the spirit of Audience and the respect with which it treated artists made me want to be there. I don't know why. I knew nothing about Robert Chesterman except that some of the people I worked with at CBC Windsor spoke his name with reverence. And that I liked his show.

It took me a couple of years in Vancouver before I was able to get up the nerve to approach him to ask him if I could work with him. When I did, he was very welcoming and we connected right away. He invited me to contribute to the BC Arts Program "Monitor". One of the things I remember the most was his approach towards artists. The most refreshing thing I have ever heard from a CBC was "I don't want to interfere with your creativity". Rob was the only producer ever to have said that to me within the corporation's walls. He never vetted a single script I wrote for the show .. something unheard of at CBC. He trusted me to write what I thought was best for the show. And he always liked what I came up with.

In 1985 I was offered a job as his production secretary .. not a job I would have done if I was working for anyone else. It was in the last days of his work with the Corp ... he was being edged out the door on early retirement and he did not want to go. He freely shared his feelings with me about broadcasting, about CBC, about his career and his life in radio. And his frustration and yes, anger, at having to leave before he thought his time should be up.

At the time, he was also transitioning into his film career ... I did a lot of support work for him on his second film "Which Way to Carnegie Hall?", about the challenges of young musicians trying to develop a career in music. He had finished his film on Kings College Choir a few years earlier, called "A Boast of Kings". It was a rare opportunity to work with a very talented person who was creatively moving into another form of art as his previous art form was starting to wind down.

It was also a crazy time at the CBC ... CBC went through a huge programming shift in the mid 1980's (some, including me, would say the beginning of the dumbing-down of the Mother Corp) ... I was working for three producers at the time -- Robert Chesterman who represented the old and fine intellectual tradition of the CBC, Tom Deacon, the producer and co-creator of Disc Drive (whicn was received which much scepticism from some quarters, ya, it's a pretty effortless listening experience), and Susan Englebert, the new Area Exec Producer of Performance Programming whose background at that time was primarily in radio variety (Great Canadian Goldrush, Gabereau and other well produced, but shall we say "lighter" fare?"). It was quite a study in contrasts.

Two out of three of that diverse group have now passed away .. Susan Englebert just last fall, and now Robert Chesterman. And that's sad. Susan and I never really never really connected in that heart-to-heart way .. we worked together okay, and I respected her, but not the same way I respected and related to Rob. Partly because he represented the intellectual, thoughtful tradition of CBC of yesteryear that many of us miss ... and also largely because he was an intellectual, thoughtful producer who considered himself an equal partner of the artists he worked with ... no doubt his funeral will be a who's who of artists in Vancouver of his generation. Because they respected him just as he respected them.

I am sad he's gone. I wonder what he was working on when he found out he had cancer. And that now will never be finished ....

Say Radio Meow!

This guy will not be working at Radio Meow. He's an example of why it's needed.

Radio Meow is India's first talk radio station aimed at women. This is remarkable in so many ways. First of all, if there was ever a place where women need to speak, it's India (and a lot of other places, too of course. It's just that I haven't been there, so I don't feel as compelled to write about it).

Second of all, it's a commercial radio station. In a country that has only 68 (!) commercial radio stations, it's pretty significant that there's a women's station at all in the bunch. (Commercial radio has only been allowed on the air for a few years, which is why there are only 68. If you divide up the population of India, over 1 billion, by 68 radio stations .. well, my math skills aren't that good so I can't calculate how many pairs of ears per station that would be. How many zeroes in a billion?)

If India follows the broadcasting style of the west, likely the on-air content will be restricted to fashion, the home and other things that won't get the men terribly upset. But it's a start. Even the idea that there is a place on the airwaves devoted to women is an important political symbol.

In terms of real on-the-ground change, I still think that community radio has more capacity to change society (and community radio is now legal in India too, with many in the planning stages preparing to go on-air). But having stations like Radio Meow in Mumbai might help women realize some new possibilities. There are many, many, maybe even half a billion, women who never ever thought a woman could or should go on air. So it's a step. Maybe it will inspire some of them to find a community radio station and go on air themselves. Or even go to get into radio as a career.)

For those of you who are going to be travelling to Mumbai, Radio Meow is on 104.8. Bring me back a tape of the programming if you go. Better still, an interview.

Meow stations are also due for launch in Mumbai, Kolkata, Amritsar, Patiala, Shimla and Jodhpur in the coming months.

A question for those of you who know Indian culture .. I am puzzled by the name. I can understand why a radio station aimed targeted at women over here would be named after a cat. But never in my travels in India did I even see a cat ... are cats a female symbol in India too ??

Happy Spring! - Magnetic Spirits Spring E-News

Magnetic Spirits E-News
May 29, 2007-05-29
(a reprint of my email newsletter for those of you who aren't on the list)

Hello, all of you. I haven´t been in touch by email for a while -
part of that is because I have been moving, resettling, re-
prioritizing. I have a home again after many months of being on the
road. It feels good .. even though I really miss that incredible
feeling when the wheels lift off the runway and I´m up and away. And
my apartment still looks like a warehouse.

The other reason why some of you haven´t heard from me is because I
am changing my internet strategy - new developments on the internet
and the evils of spam are causing me to look at new ways of getting
information out. Blogs, podcasts, online communities like Facebook
and Myspace are changing the ways we communicate. It´s all very
exciting ... and it means that some of you who are in touch with the
new digital universe are hearing from me a lot (those who already
read my blog and are on my Facebook site). Bear with me, these are
transitional times .. one of these days all these things will be
integrated.

I am continuing to send out newsletters via email because I know a
lot of you are still using email as your main internet communications
method. I invite you all to visit, my blog, listen to my podcast
and become part of my Facebook community. Just email me if you´re
not sure what this all means and how you can be part of it. And I´ll
bring you up to speed.

Enjoy the universe - digital and otherwise. Especially now that the
really nice weather is here ... I need to remind myself of the wonders
of life in the non-digital world too.

So here´s what I´m up to .. get in touch if anything fires up your
imagination.

In today´s newsletter:

1.) Back on the Air! - Bringing the World Home
2.) Keeping the World Safe for Words of Wisdom (and otherwise)
3.) Upcoming and Notable - future plans



1.) Back on the Air - Bringing the World Home

I´ve been back in Hamilton now for three months. It was inevitable
.. I am back on the air starting tomorrow morning. Join me at CFMU
93.3 FM in Hamilton for my new show "Bringing the World Home". Or if
you´re not in Hamilton, listen on line at http://cfmu.mcmaster.ca

I think of "Bringing the World Home" as what a dinner party would
sound like if I was able to invite the whole world (even though, in
real time, it´s more like a breakfast party .. at least here in
Hamilton). For the next couple of months I´ll be digging through my
archives and playing the sound pieces I´ve done that I would like
people to hear again. And I´ll be playing the episodes of The Green
Planet Monitor, the radio program that took me to India, Nepal and
Sri Lanka.

On tomorrow´s show:

The Green Planet Monitor -- The Medicinal Plant Revolution - how
traditional herbs are building economies and improving health in Sri
Lanka, India, Nepal and Ecuador. An interview with Canadian Governor
General Michaele Jean by Michelle Betz in Accra, Ghana

"Sweet Waltz Bitter Waltz" - my friends Sarah and Kevin Atkinson,
also known as "Teach Yourself Piano" Europe between the wars, Lotte
Lenya, Randy Newman and a bit of Tom Waites thrown in. Great music
and chat.

(And thanks to Gord Jackson, my friend who has graciously given me
his timeslot for the summer. Have a nice break .. I promise you can
have your time slot back when you want it)

2.) Words of Wisdom

Another big part of my life right now is my work with the Kairos
Literary Society. Since March, I have been working half time helping
the writers of Hamilton tell their stories. It´s a really varied job
.. sometimes I´m planning workshops and readings, sometimes I´m the
resident beancounter making sure we have enough money to make all the
workshops and readings happen.

My particular enthusiasms involve adapting literature to the digital
age, understanding how writing is changing in the post-post-post
Gutenberg era. And also exploring those grey areas where fiction and
non-fiction intersect. In the near future, I will be establishing a
Hamilton journalists group where those of us with our feet in the
"real" world (or maybe deluding ourselves that there IS a real world)
can explore where we and the rest of the world connect. It´s a
fine, fine line.

3.) Upcoming and Notable

I am hoping that I will be in Nairobi the end of September if the
gods and goddesses of funding approve. I´ve been invited to speak at
the conference of the International Association of Women in Radio and
Television (www.iawrt.org) What makes this group outstanding is that
we of the "first world" are vastly outnumbered by women of the
developing world .. if you count the members of the IAWRT, 75 of us
are from the so called "first" world and 225 are from the rest of the
planet. The focus of the conference is primarily on social justice
.. with many seminars on the role of media in conflict resolution,
new ways of reporting elections, solving violence against women
through media. Very exciting. Fingers crossed that the funding
comes through.

I am also developing a new project which won´t happen until next year
.. but I´m really excited about it. The focus is on activists and
social justice workers .. what motivates people to go to a place far
away and expose themselves to difficult conditions .. what keep them
motivated, why do they think this is worth the risk? And things to
think about if YOU´RE considering taking off halfway around the world
because you think you might be able to make a difference.

I think it´s going to be mostly a web project. With online audio
and video. It's still evolving ...

Oh yes .. this is just for fun. I am taking belly dancing lessons
tomorrow afternoon. And right now I´m listening to my friend Laura
Hollick on the air talking about how to make your life an artform.

That´s all I can think of for now. Be happy. Be in touch.

Blessed be
Victoria

Blackberry Digital Hash??

(Photo: unripe blackberries in Harrison Hot Springs, BC)

No, Blackberry Digital Hash isn't a new kind of fruity illegal substance.

Those of you in the recording business may find this interesting. The Blackberry transmits a more powerful signal than an ordinary cellphone. So when there's a Blackberry in the room, it can interfere with your recording.

This is true of ordinary cell phones too. Even when they're turned off.

Mouseland - A Socialist Parable

(This is a story which was written by the great Tommy Douglas, father of medicare in Canada. Written many years ago but still relevant today. Lots of people know this story .. I post it here for the people who don't know it yet)


This is the story of a place called Mouseland. Mouseland was a place where all the little mice lived and played. Were born and died. And they lived much as you and I do. They even had a parliament. And every four years they had an election. They used to walk to the polls and cast their ballot. Some of them even got a ride to the polls. They got a ride for the next four years afterward too. Just like you and me. And every time on election day, all the little mice used to go to the ballot box and they used to elect a government. A government made up of big black fat cats.

Now if you think it’s strange that mice should elect a government made up of cats. You just look at the history of Canada for the last ninety years and maybe you’ll see they weren’t any stupider than we are.

Now I am not saying anything against the cats. They were nice fellows; they conducted the government with dignity. They passed good laws. That is, laws that were good for cats.

But the laws that were good for cats weren’t very good for mice. One of the laws said that mouse holes had to be big enough so a cat could get his paw in. Another law said that mice could only travel at certain speeds so that a cat could get his breakfast without too much physical effort.

All the laws were good laws for cats. But oh, they were hard on the mice. And life was getting harder and harder. And when the mice couldn’t put up with it anymore they decided something had to be done about it. So they went en masse the polls.

They voted the black cats out. They put in the white cats. The white cats had put up a terrific campaign. They said all that Mouseland needs is more vision. They said the trouble with Mouseland is those round mouse holes we’ve got. If you put us in we’ll establish square mouse holes. And they did. And the square mouse holes were twice as big as the round mouse holes. And now the cat could get both his paws in. And life was tougher than ever.

And when they couldn’t take that anymore they voted the white cats out and put the black ones in again. And then they went back to the white cats, and then to the black, they even tried half black cats and half white cats. And they called that coalition. They even got one government made up with up cats with spots on them. They were cats that tried to make a noise like a mouse but they ate like a cat.

You see my friends the trouble wasn’t with the colour of the cats. The trouble was that they were cats. And because they were cats they naturally look after cats instead of mice.

Presently there came along one little mouse who had an idea. My friends watch out for the little fellow with an idea. He said to the other mice. “Look fellows why do we keep electing a government made up of cats, why don’t we elect a government made up of mice?�? Oh, they said, he’s a Bolshevik. So they put him in jail. But I want to remind you that you can lock up a mouse or a man but you can’t lock up an idea.

- Tommy Douglas, then leader of the NDP

The Future is a Place

(Note: this article was written by my friend Roxanne Amico who is an artist and radio producer living in Buffalo. I was dazzled by this article and asked her if I could post it on my blog. She said yes, and I am happy. The above picture is also by Roxanne and is called "Circle Casting". Links to Roxanne's site are at the end of this post. Enjoy. Be inspired. Be hopeful)

The Future is a Place
By Roxanne Amico

We walked to the playground, from my mother's house, where I go for dinner most Friday nights, to play with my sister's 2 daughters (10 and 5 yrs old) and my mom's dog. The ten year old has mastered everything at the playground with an admirable cockiness, and still challenges herself to step outside her limits. The five year old worships her older sister and wants to do all the older one does. I've been marvelling this spring over how much stronger they are, how much more confident in all the things they do...

The five year old saw what her bigger sister did on the monkey bars--a move that made ME envious--and she wanted to do it. What she can't do alone, I help her with if I can. I couldn't help her this time. I had to say no. I hate that. So does she. She stomped away, her hair flying behind her like a kite with the words ":F-You" written on it... I know how she felt--I knew that if I were bigger or stronger, I could have helped her. I walked slowly behind her to her pouting spot and told her that it was only because I didn't want her getting hurt by doing something I couldn't help her do. "It's not fair! Why can't I do ANYthing?" I told her how much she does this year that she couldn't do last year, when she was four. I knew that would have some meaning, because she makes it clear on a regular basis how proud she is to have arrived at five years old. I called her older sister over to help remind her of the strides she's made in one year. She wanted to do that monkey bar thing though and pressed her case. I said, "You will." She said, "When?"

I said what I knew to be the most irrelevant answer I could give a five year old child, knowing both before, during, and after saying it that it was inane: "In the future."

It was inane because ultimately time means at once everything and nothing to a five year old. "Five years old" is just "more than four", and therefore "better", in many respects because she feels progressively more privileged "now" than "before". It means this thing that means so much more to everyone else --older and bigger--around her, and therefore becomes something she wants desperately to understand, as if it were the secret to the universe. Her mother and I laughed about this recently, because she's been asking, "What time is it?" a lot lately, (..."Why--You got a date?"...), just as she's been talking about death and age. The future is nothing, does not exist, and I know this, yet to say, "In the future" was all I could think to say, while all the while I thought about the problems with this answer, the things I did not say to her, about how I hate this answer I am about to give her... I hate it because I hate this culture that teaches children to become adults who sell their lives to the clock and wallet; because I loathe the fact that she is growing up in a culture that is obsessed with pretending death won't happen, and therefore lives insanely as if the future is the only thing, a culture then unwittingly enslaved to the future as death, disguised as eternal youth, which is actually eternal ignorance, and amounts to acute lack of responsibility for the lives of others in other cultures who die at the hands of this foolishness--others who cannot--don't have the luxury to-- forget about their impending death, too often imposed by this culture...

...I feel rage rise in my chest, right next to the grief that I've got a niece who is 5, one who is 10, one who is 13, and another who is 16, knowing as I do that the future is grim because:

* if the bee population collapses which it is, humanity has 4-5 yrs to survive;
* if the climate change reports are accurate … we have maybe 20 yrs before it's too late to do anything to stop the worst of the consequences of climate change ...
* because I know that another 570+ species go extinct every day, huge areas of the planets forests are felled and cleared every day, more topsoil is removed, deserts keep expanding, oceans keep dying, Greenland and all places ice are melting at a much faster rate;
* because we act like the economy is ok because it hasn't hit "us" yet, but we're just plain wrong and to say otherwise is like talking a language no one can translate. And there are good reasons it SHOULDN'T continue as it is, and in the middle of ALL of the above, people still think we will find a technological silver bullet fix for the energy crisis we are now immersed in ----
* AND-this culture keeps pretending that to look closely at these facts is to invite depression, rather than it being an act of reason to look at the facts and recognize WE -CANNOT-GO-ON-LIKE-THIS YET-WE-CONTINUE-TO-ACT-LIKE-WE-CAN....

And when a 5 yr old asks me one 'simple' question, I think of the rest of her life in these conditions, because I love her, and because I know how much she loves to be alive. (And because I know she won't go all ga-ga about how fast and high that dow jones is climbing--whoop-de-effing do--Aren't we all doing so wonderfully???? I know she won't say something even more inane like, "hey--but we can always try wind/solar-power, while all the while ignoring all these other factors, and forgetting that even these "low tech" solutions rely on PETROLEUM )

Now before I get any emails telling me everything is ok, or checking in on my state of mental health, I'll just say right now I am not "Depressed". This time is one of the happiest, most satisfying and exciting times of my life. What I despise is this culture, not people, not reality, not everything. I can't stand that to merely look at and raise the topic of the danger we are in brings people to blind fear, rather than awakened agency, but I keep looking for a way...

And I think that until we truly see and feel and grasp the deeply disturbing reality, we cannot truly do anything effective about it.

I passionately believe it's entirely possible to love life, love the people I know and many I don't know, love the planet and all living things, past, present, and future. And at the same time to have deep contempt for that which threatens all I love--that which is within my agency to oppose, that which is, as my niece calls it, "Not fair." When I say I hate this culture, I mean the petri dish we're all in, festering away in the disease that's killing the planet, (and there's simply no positive way to put that one anymore), and I don't mean culture in the classic (and elitist) sense of the term. This, of course, is what makes me the artist I am: Because I love, and because I hate, and because the future is not enough, so that what my life is about is shaping a sustainable culture, and because I know in my heart that the only answer really is the present, [even if, at the same time, I know the future I am working for is far too much in the future than I can describe to a five year old] as does the five year old know so dearly about the present...

...As this avalanche of thought crashed through my mind, fully expecting a rumble from my niece in response to my simplistic "in the future" claim, she didn't skip a beat: She sort of growled, and sneered, and with her fingers extended in her own gesticulated passion, sort of like a cat's untrimmed toe-nails, she said loudly,

"the future is just this boring place where they let you do everything and you can't have any fun!!!"

This took my breath away. Knowing I wouldn't remember this exact thing later, I grabbed my pen and paper I always keep in my pocket I don't always have and said, "Hannah--Wait!! Before you say another thing--THAT is one of the coolest things anyone has ever said to me--Can I write it down?"

She said, "Now this is fun. I like this writing things down when I say them--let's do more of that..."



(to hear Roxanne's radio show, go here
To see more of Roxanne's work, go to her online studio here
Her myspace site is http://www.myspace.com/radioroxanne)

My Neglected Blog

It's been a while since I've done a posting. Not that I haven't wanted to express myself online. Used to be that this blog is where I did it.

Ah, times have changed. Blogging is being replaced ... by Facebook!

Yes, I will admit. I am going to be in need of a 12-step program if this continues. I first heard about Facebook down at CFMU, where program director (and who was a volunteer when I was station manager 10-15 years ago) told me that the "kids" got him to sign up. Sign of the times ... both James the PD and I are now old enough to refer to the 20-somethings as "kids". When I was at CFMU I was only in my mid-30s so the age difference didn't seem so great. Now there's no denying it ... we are becoming elders in the world of community radio.

That was a month ago. I didn't even look at Facebook then .. figured it was a fad. And then I got an invitation from my niece Crystal in Kelowna who is 25. Crystal isn't at all what I would call a tech-head. Yet she uses technology in ways that I don't ... and a quick visit with her, her sister and brother shows me new ways of communicating that I hadn't thought of.

So okay, I'm the cool aunt. Better sign up.

And every day I look at my list of friends to make sure it's growing. For a while I was stalled at 38. And I started to get a bit obsessed about it. Come on, I've got more friends than that. And then I would think about my status line Victoria is ... Victoria is ... what? There are people who update their status line by the hour. do they live on line or something? And then there is the optional information ... what do I put under Status ... do I say I'm single? Maybe that sends out the wrong ... or right? .. signal. Or do I ignore the question? Quotes ... what are my favourite quotes .. should it be profound or fun? And then there's the picture .. a lot of people are going to be seeing this (although probably not as many as most Facebookers think. What one shows my best side?

Too many decisions and I haven't even finished my coffee yet. It's getting cold because I am too busy typing. Oh yeah, I gotta get some work done this morning.

What is truly fascinating is to see who signs up and who doesn't. There are some surprises. I look at my friends list just to see who's showing up. What? Him? I thought he was scared of the computer. And some of the ones who seem like they'd be naturals are nowhere to be found.

A couple of observations -- there is an age thing happening. For sure. The friends collections of my younger Facebook friends are a lot bigger than those my own age. Makes me wonder how much of this is a popularity contest. Of course it is. And the updates seem to come minute by minute. My friends who are roughly the same age as me don't change their entries as frequently.

The friends who aren't there tell me a) it's just another gadget they don't have time for and b) they want to protect their privacy. Fair enough. Being a media person who really likes politics, my own perspective is that not being seen is not a good thing. So I realize I'm a much more in-your-face-in-your-ear kind of person than the average person my age.

Inevitably, because I like to ask a lot of questions (and can't help it), I do wonder what this shows about the communications methods and attitudes of people who are younger than me. We do know they don't read in the same way as we did ... small bites rather than novels. And mainstream radio and TV are bemoaning the possibility (probability) they're not going to have any listeners at all once those who are now over 40 die off. They're right ... which is a whole other story.

What this makes me ask, as a communicator, is how to stay relevant as all these changes occur. As I age, am I going to keep communicating the way I always have, using the same old media?

I don't want that. Because it means that I'll only be communicating with people my own age. That for me is the value of learning new technologies like Facebook. And why I'm spending so much time with this thing. Or so I tell myself.

Not just because it's a whole bunch of fun.

Whoops. Gotta go. Haven't checked my Facebook in 15 minutes!

(update: I just checked it out. I am stalled at 53 friends. And that's really only 52 because Simon signed up twice. Come on! I've got more friends than that. And what's with all those question marks where the pictures should be??!!)

Canadian Humour

A friend of mine in the States sent this to me. It was fun to be able to tell her I've flown with Westjet, and yes, the quotes are probably accurate.

FWD: You've got to love the Canadian sense of humor.

West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta.
West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety
lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a West Jet flight there is no assigned seating, you just sit where
you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a
flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out
furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
___________________________________

On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,
the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and
will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
____________________________________
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."
____________________________________
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane."

-----------------------
"Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us
the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
---------------------------

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver
airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
-------------------------

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a
flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, "Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that,
sure as hell everything has shifted."
-----------------------

From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245
to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you
don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
-- -------------------

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling, stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.
If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before
assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
-----------------------

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines."
------------------------

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
-----------------------

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything lef t behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
---------------------------

And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is
pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in
the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
-----------------------------

Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton;
The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a
bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't
the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight
attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

------------------------------
Overheard on a West Jet Airlines flight into Regina on a particularly
windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was
really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight
Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain
in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's
left of our airplane to the gate!"

------------------------------
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We
ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal."

---------------------
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited,
smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline."
He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking
the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
-------------------

After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant
came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching
halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning
bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way
through the wreckage to the terminal."

-----------------------
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank
you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the
insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we
hope you'll think of West Jet Airways."

-----------------------
Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish
to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can
light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

-----------------------
A plane was taking off from the Winnipeg airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome
to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Winnipeg to Montreal. The weather ahead
is good and, therefore, we should ha have a smooth and uneventful flight.
Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on
the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I
scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant
accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the
front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You
should see the back of mine!"

Another favourite picture

In the final stages of winter (supposed to be spring, but it's still snowing), it's so nice to go back to my India/Nepal/Sri Lanka pictures and feel the warmth.

Different pictures jump out at me at different times. I have just rediscovered this one. I was at the Elephant Orphanage in Sri Lanka and a group of school kids asked if they could take my picture with them. So then I asked one of them to take a picture with my camera. And I just love the way it turned out.

Good Work, Mom and Dad!

Today is my parents 52nd anniversary. April 9, 1955 was the day. The place was Ruscom United Church, in a small village (hamlet, really) about 40 kilometers from Windsor. A farming community populated by people who were mostly all related to each other (by marriage, not all by blood). My mom and dad lived only a couple of kilometers from each other but somehow didn't get to know each other until they were teenagers. They met detassling corn, and their first date was at the stock car races.

For fifty two years they've kept it together. Pretty amazing from my vantage point ... I am in the final stages of ending mine after 21 years. I can remember times which were tense, especially when we were teenagers. But they're still together.

And I'm glad. I wouldn't have wanted them to stay together "for the kids" if they weren't happy. But I don't think they stayed together just for us. They did it for them. Which is the way it should be.

Hope you have lots and lots more anniversaries, Mom and Dad.

Love from your five girls,
Marianne, Dianne, Victoria, Lori and Cindy
and your two little girls .. Elizabeth and Emily

(PS - The other people in the picture are my sisters Marianne and Dianne, and my brother in law George. I guess you can tell who my mom and dad are ... this picture was taken on Christmas Day 2006)

Remember This

This from my wonderful friend Angelyn Debord in the mountains of Virginia:

Speak the following lines out loud:

I love everything about me
I love my uncanny beauty and my bewildering pain
I love my hungry soul and my wounded longing
I love my flaws, my fears, and my scary frontiers

I will never forsake, betray, or deceive myself
I will always adore, forgive, and believe in myself
I will never refuse, abandon, or scorn myself
I will always amuse, delight, and redeem myself

Opting back in

Well, I am becoming a member of North American (read:consumer) society again. I now have my own apartment (haven’t moved in yet but that will happen next Monday), I am now typing this as I wait for Cogeco Cable to go through their exceedingly long voicemail message that explains that I am liable for everything and they are liable for nothing. I cannot get exit this message because if I hang up they will not hook up my cable and internet, which makes the fifteen minutes I’ve already been on the phone signing up rather pointless. It is very, very, very boring. So I am updating my blog at the same time.

Living by society’s rules is really complicated. It has been much easier with no home and wandering around from place to place with no bills but my Visa card to pay so that I can do more travelling. I like being a gypsy. I am going to miss it.

Fuck … this message isn’t over yet … pardon my profanity. I don’t like businesses which waste my time like this. I don’t need them to read a whole contract to me OVER THE PHONE!

So I’ve put down the phone and let the recorded message blather on.

Even though I’ve opted back in, I’m still undecided about how much to do it Okay, an apartment for now is the way to go. For now. Until I can establish an intentional community with likeminded people. It will happen but it's a few years off. And I don't know where it's going to be yet. And I have to have communications services. I will have to do that even in my intentional community Shangr-la. Some things are inevitable. But I don’t have to shop at Walmart or at the mall. I don’t have to buy into consumerism to the degree that I used to think I had to.

I’m thinking that I want to buy little, and bank my money for travelling. Forget RRSP’s – at my age it’s not going to do me much good. I was listening to one financial advisor on the radio who pointed out that in order for most Canadians to live the Freedom 55 lifestyle, they’d need at least half a million dollars in RRSPs when they retire. And the average Canadian RRSP savings is $40,000. I think I’m just going to have to take my chances and trust grace and luck to get me through my old age. And thank god people in Ontario don’t have to retire at 65 because I’ll be working until I drop dead.

Update -- Fifteen minutes later. The annoying dial-a-contract message is STILL going. So I hung up. Wonder if they'll tell me I can't have cable now. My god, read me House of Commons proceedings instead. It would be a lot more interesting compared to this. Hope this telecontract thing doesn’t become a trend. If the pollution and wars don’t get us, these big corporations are going to bore us to death.

Tonight’s contacts with the big wide world of North American commerce has reaffirmed something that I already knew … that I don’t want to deal with big corporations any more and will do business with ordinary people except in cases where I can’t avoid it.

(I am unusually crabby today … probably because I woke up annoyed because my body was telling me it was 8:00 and the clock said it was already 9. I'm also bitchy because somebody decided to make daylight savings time happen 3 weeks early. Daylight savings time is not supposed to start when the snow is still on the ground. It ain't natural)

I really must be careful …. this last 18 months has been a welcome holiday from frustration and cynicism. The challenge is to maintain that spirit … and to discover how I can opt out spiritually while opting in to those things that I need – like services of big companies that do phones, internet and rent apartments. And to enjoy the good things about Western society without letting the not-so-good things drag me down.

It's truly a spiritual challenge, it is.

Media with a Forgiving Mind ..

I have referred several times in this blog about the Dart Center for Journalism and Trauma. That's because it's an amazing collection of stuff about dealing with the emotional content of our work, both in terms of the people we write about and also ourselves.

There is an article I found that is especially resonant with me. It's all about Trauma and Forgiveness, written by BBC Reporter Jennifer Glasse after a workshop on trauma and forgiveness, done by Robin Shohet and Ben Fuchs of the Findhorn Foundation (which is a website you should also check out).

Ms. Glasse starts out being skeptical, but then starts to challenge her own definition of forgiveness. And she made some really good discoveries about herself and her profession.

Well worth a look.

A Splash of Colour

Oh, this page of my blog is looking way too grey .. such is February in Canada. So here's another view ... the Malabar coast on the west side of India with waves rolling in from Africa. It would be nice to be there today, sitting in the sun and looking up at the tall, tall coconut trees.