It could have been much worse

Okay, so waking up to Stephen Harper's smiling face isn't exactly my idea of a great way to start the day.

But hey, I can live with it and hope that the next couple of years gives Canada a really good look at what Reform/Conservatism/Republicanism could do for this country (as in DESTROY it). Sure, there's always the possibility that Mr. Grumpypants is going to become Mr. Happyface until he gets his majority and then the moral majority will settle in forever. But we do have to hang to every shred of hope we can find in the political landscape, at least for the time being.

Myself, I don't see how we could have returned the Liberals for yet another dysfunctional minority government. And we really didn't have anybody else waiting in the wings to replace them, did we? (I refuse to call them Conservatives. They're still the Reform Party.)

And, on the really positive side, it is wonderful to see all the little orange markers on the Globe and Mail website showing where the NDP got in -- even though the popular vote didn't increase for the NDP, the number of seats did.

And yay Hamilton for going orange again. It was especially fine to see labour guy Wayne Marston stomp Tony Valeri into the industrial dirt of Hamilton East. (My bets are that Sheila Copps was in there somewhere helping Marston. after what Valeri did to her, I hope she got her revenge). And my riding in Windsor West returned a solid NDP candidate, as well as Joe Comartin in Windsor/Tecumseh(I especially like Joe because he let me sublet his apartment in Ottawa a few years back).

All in all, a very good day. I spent election day being a Deputy Returning Officer for a poll in Windsor West that most had people in it from "The Projects" (aka, social assistance housing), which is not usually known for high voter turnout. Our poll, poll 56, had one of the highest voter turnouts in the area. We had a lot of new voter registrations, especially from new Canadians. This is a very good thing.

I also got to know the place where I'm living a lot better. My poll clerk, Carol, knows a lot of people from the projects because she lives over by Glengarry, which is one of the other project zones in Windsor. And a lot of her former neighbours now live in our poll.

I found out a lot of interesting stuff about our neighbourhood, like:

- there are about 160 prisoners in the Windsor jail just down the road from where I live
- you don't want to live on Peter Street (I used to live there)
- there's still quite a bit of racism out there, most of it aimed at Muslims - there were more than a few comments bandied about that were pretty tough to listen to (still don't know how to respond to racist comments -- sometimes I challenge them and other times I just shut up and say what's the point of saying anything?)
- people just want to provide for their families and have a good life. None of us are different from each other in that regards. Where we differ is our various versions of what that means.
- this neighbourhood is very much like the Stinson neighbourhood in Hamilton, from whence I just moved. And that I would rather live in a mixed income and lifestyle neighbourhood with all its complexities, than a place where everybody tries to be the same as the next person.

A fascinating day. It's going to be a fascinating couple of years. Or six months. Or four years. However this silly political situation plays out.

What is it about cars?

Goodbye, faithful friend 


The salvage company is coming to take away my car today.

Sigh ... funny how attached we get to our cars. We've gone a lot of miles together, often just the car and I. From Ottawa to Kentucky. And back again. And yet another time from Ottawa to Kentucky. Many more times after that. Down to Nova Scotia this summer.

We've had a lot of good times. So I was really surprised when all it took was a not-very-violent collision at a slow speed in a parking lot to do her in. I figured it would only be a couple thousand bucks damage.

I sure don't know much about car repairs .. the bill would have been over $6000. So, the insurance company says, we'll write you a cheque. Got to admit the settlement amount was more than I expected. And Barry is the real winner here -- my original plan (before the accident) to pay him for half and keep the car. Only I told him I wasn't going to give him a penny more than half of $4000. So he's got a whole lot of reasons to be happy right now. And I could have told him that the insurance company only gave me $4500. But I didn't.

I am not going to get another car right away. I can go without one for the next few months until I get a more solid revenue stream happening. Then I'll probably lease something new. Or, if my friends Sarah and Shawn go to Korea, I'll buy their 1992 Volvo -- it's a kick ass car (in a Volvo kind of way .. isn't that something like referring to something from Ikea as "kick-ass"?)

What I mean is it's Swedish cool. Which is a whole bunch different from North America cool.

Oh, and by the way, I am alright. Nothing damaged except my ego. 'Cause it was my fault. Can't believe it -- I've driven thousands and thousands of miles all over this continent and the first time I get into an accident it's in a big-box mall parking lot going 20 kph.

I think I can still say I'm a good driver -- one accident in over 25 years of driving isn't a bad record. Even if I got a ticket for failing to yield. Would have been worse except I put my head down on the steering wheel and cried after it happened. The cop was real nice .. the tears did not hurt even if they were unintentional.

Time for another ramble ...

My friend Lil sent me an email and told me that she checks here every now and again to see how I am doing. Reminded me that I haven't done an update in a while, and that people sometimes do go here if they haven't heard from me in a while. So I should keep this up.

It's a quiet Sunday evening and I am listening to some Beethoven sonatas, and it feels like a good time to say more than "ya, hi, I'm okay".

I'm better than okay, actually. I'm doing really well. Having a small bout of "but what am I going to be doing in May?" but doing a good job of telling myself that May is a long way off (got a gig until the end of April). And that things have worked out really well thus far, which should give me every reason to believe that this trend will continue. So I opened up a bottle of wine and I think I'm getting past the momentary little bit of fear. And looking at Nova Scotia real estate ads and seeing that one of the houses I like has dropped to $59,000!

I am amazed at how well things are going. I started teaching my radio broadcasting course (better be careful here .. I have my blog address on the bottom of all my emails, accessible to any student who wants to have a look). Not that I'd say anything different if they weren't reading anyway. I think the funniest thing is being called "Professor" .. I'm just not used to it yet. It's shaping up to be a really good group, and it's really good to be able to share all this knowledge that has accumulated over the years. I have been looking over all the radio handouts I've written over the years and realizing that I've got a lot of my material written already. Maybe I should write a book.

Jobs have been falling into my lap ever since I arrived here. I haven't even had to look. The latest job offer is to model for digital animation classes at St. Clair College. Because it's animation, the poses change fairly quickly, with no more than ten minutes per pose. So it's not like I have to sit there, or stand there, or lie there, or stand on one leg for hours and hours at a time. I think it will be a good exercise in keeping still, and keeping quiet. (Some of you will think this is very funny). My friend Sarah is the one who passed along my name -- she says she just goes into meditation when she's doing it, and the discipline is very helpful in terms of getting grounded and centred.

At this point, I have no idea how long I will be in Windsor. It has the reputation of being "Velcro City" .. because arriving here is like backing into a piece of Velcro -- hard to tear yourself away.

That's okay for now. I have changed a lot in the past few months -- I don't have "goals" any more. I do have hopes and dreams, and things I am working towards. The difference, the way I see it, is that goals are things one is going to accomplish come hell or high water. Hopes and dreams are a lot more fluid .. things that would be good to do if that's the direction that life takes us. I remember somebody saying (quite) a few years ago that plans are good, but even the Soviets only had five year plans. So I have started to think it's a lot better to let things evolve, rather than try to force them. (Haven't entirely broken myself of the habit of needing to bulldoze things through, but I am making progress).

More later.

Happy New Year everybody!

Just a quick post so you know I'm still out here.

Life is good. Still having fun.

Hope you are too.

More on yesterday's thought ..

I've been doing some more research on this whole area of media and the relationship to self. There is not much work being done, except for a bit on post-traumatic stress and war journalists.

I thought this quote summed up why I think this is an important area of study.

"Good journalism depends on healthy journalists. For the general public to be kept abreast of important world events, it is essential that the news not be filtered through the emotional distress of the men and women recording history."

Reporting Under Fire: Understanding Psychopathology of War Journalists
By Omar Ghaffar, M.D., M.Sc., and Anthony Feinstein, M.D., Ph.D., M.Phil.

For those of you wanting to go further into this, the article can be found here.

Also interesting findings -- which is pretty consistent with what I've seen -- we're drinkers but not heavily into hard drugs. Bit of pot. Bit of cocaine. Lots of scotch.

It's an interesting read, especially for those in this biz.

Merry Almost Christmas

I can hardly believe it. It looks like we're going to be having a white Christmas in Windsor. This hardly ever happens -- if Christmas isn't brown down here, it's a slush Christmas.

But no. It's cold. It's snowy. And it's lovely.

My Christmas season is pretty relaxing so far, and I like it that way. I'm working at a modest pace, putting together radio shows and getting ready for the radio broadcasting course I'm teaching at the University in January. This is probably the most exciting development -- I really do like teaching and I really do love teaching radio in particular, so it's a good thing to do.

More than several people have said "so, are you going to do your doctorate?" Well, I'd have to do a Masters' first, but it's an idea I'm kicking around. There are a few areas of research I'm interested in. One of the main things that intrigues me is the role of the self in contemporary media. The dominant idea that I am developing (informally thus far) is that we are not allowed to even HAVE a self. This is rooted in the dogma of objectivity. And because we are encouraged to remove the self from our work, our work also becomes divorced from all the other selves we are writing about, and are writing too. And that's one of the reasons why we have such weak programming on the air.

Okay, I'll save the rest for my thesis.

I'm training myself to go easy on myself and not to need to accomplish everything I want to in two hours. I'm in a comfortable place right now and really happy I have everything I need for the next little while -- good friends, a good place to live, enough to live on, interesting work and a mind and body that works really well.

I am happy. I don't have a clear map of the road ahead, but I am finally learning how to live with the mystery.

Love
Victoria

Quick Update

Well, things are moving ahead really nicely down here. My art installation "Mixing Addictions" is going together really well and I actually have the self-discipline now to work on it in both a systemic and spontaneous way (this is one of my biggest challenges).

AND ...

I have been offered a sessional instructor job teaching radio broadcasting at the University of Windsor. I am still pretty amazed .. I've done some teaching before but not at the university level. This is a very good thing. Maybe I'll even start to think about doing a master's ... not sure where all this is going but it's a good direction.

More later. Got to get to the studio.

A Hopeful Perspective

This was emailed to me by the amazing Grace Lee Boggs, a long time activist in Detroit. It gives me a lot of confidence and hope to read that there are other people too who think that the dark times we are living in are just the opening act for the light to come.

The winter solstice is coming .. time to look forward to the return of the light.

V


ANOTHER WORLD IS NECESSARY
ANOTHER WORLD IS POSSIBLE
ANOTHER WORLD HAS ALREADY STARTED

Michigan Citizen, Nov. 27-Dec. 3, 2005

We are in the midst of a great transformation, not only economically but
psychologically, culturally, politically, in our relations with one
another, to the Earth, to other species and to other peoples of the world, and
in our concept of ourselves and of our rights and responsibilities as human
beings.

To an unprecedented degree, as we approach 2006, millions of us are
aware that our present and impending disasters are not natural but man-made,
the consequence of our limitless pursuit of capital accumulation.

Up to now the main victims of this have been the peoples of the global
South. But now the chickens are coming home to roost. In our own countries,
the United States and throughout Europe, there are tens of millions who
for decades have been marginalized, living how they can, without any social
safety nets, unemployed, disempowered, disenfranchised, disengaged,
disrespected, and without a perspective of another positive future.

These people in the so-called informal sector are now being joined by
those who through centuries of struggle and sacrifices thought they could look
forward to a stable and secure future for themselves and their children.

At this moment and under these circumstances it would be easy to
despair. But this universal crisis is not only a danger but a promise, an
opportunity to advance ourselves and our societies to a new level, based
on a new vision, new principles and values:

* Respect for the limits of the earth
* Responsibility for community and notjust for self
* Concern for posterity into theseventh generation
* Partnership instead of patriarchalrelations
* A new concept of Work based on usevalues and skills
* Resistance to commodification of human relationships and of all life
* Local, sustainable and self-relianteconomies instead of one global
dominant economy
* Diversity instead of monocultures
* Restore the joy of living incommunity with all creatures
* Practice global citizenship topreserve the best of our historical
traditions
* Social justice and cooperation instead of exploitation and
competition

WHAT DO WE DO NOW? HOW DO WE GET FROM HERE TO THERE?

WE can begin by restoring our relationships to each other and to the
Earth

WE can create gardens, for food, health and to create a community as a
basis for resistance, for learning and enjoyment of young and old.

WE can create new subsistence skills to grapple with our present
problems and the challenges to come.

WE can transform our schools from job-and-career-oriented institutions
to places where children and young people can learn the values of teamwork,
serving the community, self-reliance and the joys of creativity

WE can initiate discussions in our communities locally, nationally and
internationally on new visions, a new perspective, and the profound
historical meaning of the great turning during this time in which we
live.

WE can share and spread the word of what people are already doing to
create a better world.

Grace Lee Boggs, Detroit, Michigan., Boggscenter.org
Maria Mies, Koeln, Germany, Women and Life on Earth (WLOE)
Shea Howell, Detroit, Michigan
Werner Ruhoff, Koeln, Germany
Hilmar Kunath, Hamburg, Germany
Elisabeth Voss, Berlin, Germany
Irina Vellay, Dortmund, Germany

This statement emerged from some o f the participants in the
International Workshop on Self-Organizing and Common Self-Reliance, Cologne, Germany,
October 20-22, 2005.

You're actually reading this thing ..

I stopped updating for a while because I was getting the impression that nobody was reading this. But I've heard from a few of you who say it's a helpful way to see what part of the planet I am on. So I'm going to keep going with this. At the very least, it's another way to journal even if y'all aren't reading.

But I think you are.

Well, the house is sold and gone. And I actually have a bit of money. For the next month or so I am just going to hang out, do art, settle in to my new place and not put any expectations on myself. Come January I'll start looking for a job. Don't think that will be too hard -- the kind of job I am looking for is the kind that doesn't take up too much space in my brain (literary credits to my friend Sarah A. for coming up with that very descriptive way of describing what I am looking for.) Maybe I'll go get a job at Best Buy for a while and just enjoy hanging around with all that gear (and take advantage of staff discounts, of course). And I've got my used bookstore gig. And there's always the old standby -- modelling for art classes (kinda cold in January but I'll just buy myself a fuzzy robe for the breaks). And I have two music students. All these little bits and pieces add up, especially since I have considerably reduced my cost of living.

I have also applied to be a sessional instructor for the Radio Broadcasting course at the University -- that WOULD take up a lot of space in my brain but I am up for it.

I'm liking being back in Windsor. The "there's no place like home" sentiments have slightly worn off but it's still good. I've been back long enough to see that Windsor hasn't changed a whole lot in 25 years. In some ways, it's a really progressive place. In other ways, it's a black hole.

The things that are good:

a) the river -- it's the only place I've lived where the boats are actually close enough to see more than an outline. And the riverfront became a lot prettier in the days after I left. Great sculpture garden too.
b) there's a lot of progressive politics here
c) wonderful friends, especially my friend Mary who has provided me with a wonderful place to overwinter.
d) a good university (DESPITE what Macleans magazine says)
e) a very cute little apartment. I am enjoying "small" -- I loved my big house but I am finding this place much more manageable. And easier to decorate -- in my house, things had to be very large and dramatic to be noticed. Here, the smallest things don't get lost.

The things that are not so good:

a) the pollution. Steel plant just across the river. Gee, just like Hamilton.
b) gawd, is this city ever American
c) there is a really underdeveloped understanding of the role of arts and culture at the civic level (true everywhere, but it's especially bad down here). This filters down to the level of the ordinary folks, causing things like no money for art, the sense that artists are society's equivalent of the flea on a dog's back. The up side, though, is that there is a resilience and a frontier mentality among the people who are just going ahead and doing art anyway. And that creates a vitality and energy that is different than that which exists in places where we are validated a bit more.

Overall, there are more good reasons to be here than not. At least for a while.

I still want to go east. The winds are not blowing in that direction yet but if I pay attention I will know when it's time.

For now, I have a sound art installation I have to get working on. I will post details here tomorrow. Or maybe later today.

Get in touch! My email is getting really boring.

What I want for Christmas

Just about says it all, doesn't it? You can get these from the Rabble Podcast Boutique -- only $16.50! Pretty cheap price for a whole bunch of cheeky attitude, if you ask me


and oh ya .. that would be size Medium ...

ssshh .. don't tell anybody

I'm supposed to be working. It's Sunday afternoon and I'm at my new few-hours-a-week-when-we-need-you musty used bookstore job. It's my first day all by myself here. I'm liking it. Just me and a whole bunch of thinkers who have collectively penned no less than 3 trillion thoughts.

Okay, so maybe I should be working but I think I will allow myself a little break from my very busy day. Besides, there are a lot of ideas in here -- it can get very overwhelming if I'm not careful.

There are a lot of books in here, you bet. And this is probably only .000000000000001111111111111 of all the books published in the world and exist at this point in time. That doesn't count all the countless millions that have been burned down through the ages.

On second thought, make that number .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
0000000000000011111111111111111111111111111111111111
111111111111111. And that's probably a conservative estimate.

Doing well. Always searching for the right balance between being and doing. Finding it occasionally and trying to go easy on myself when I don't get it right.

More later. Got lots of radio shows coming up and cool things for people to listen to.

Settling in to Windsor West

Just thought I'd pop in with a bit of an update for those of you who check this out to see where I am.

I'm settling in nicely into my little basement live/work space on the west side of Windsor. Most of the time it feels energizing to be here. I've got a couple of grants in, plus am preparing a submission for a sound art installation here in Windsor. And my podcast debuts on Tuesday at Rabble.ca -- it's called "The House of Sound and Story" and will focus on the good things artists are doing to build this house we call earth. My first program will be about Penn Kemp's Poems for Peace project and will be a performance and discussion about how words create and destroy peace.

I am also starting a radio show at CJAM on November 23 addressing the same kinds of themes. And I'm playing piano again, thinking about taking a composition course in music come January.

And dog training lessons, likely skating lessons with my 6 year old niece Emily.

Got a couple of loads of stuff to get from Hamilton yet and then I'm done and out of there. It's been a long haul ... the change is very welcome.

More later about my sound installation ... it will be really great to get back into circulation again.

Don't play with your food!

Lori and her pal 

I love this picture. It's my best buddy and sister Lori. She's in China right now and she's been sending home lots of stories about what she's been eating (pig intestines on shiskabob skewers. Frogs .. whole ones ... chicken baked in mud.)

This is Hairy Lobster .. which is a kind of lobster with seaweed.

I love this picture because I think of the all times (every mealtime) when she says "Emily, don't play with your food).

I think it's hard for her to be a mom sometimes because she hasn't forgotten how to be a kid herself. And that's what makes her a great mom. And a wonderful sister who makes me laugh.

Making Friends with the Neighbours

Direct Action -- Northern Ontario Style 

My cousin Lisa just sent this picture in a batch from her parents' new place near Goulais River (which is near the Soo).

My aunt, M. Catherine Brown, is known for her direct way of making the point (one of my favourite stories is that she wrote to Mother Theresa to tell her she was wrong. AND got a reply, hand-addressed direct from Calcutta).

But geez, Cath, couldn't you have settled in for a bit longer before causin' trouble?

Just kidding. I know she didn't write this because it's not her handwriting.

I have arrived ...

Hey everybody out there. I told you I'd pop back in and let you all
know when I get where I was going.

I'm here. But not the "here" where I thought I was going to be. I
am in Essex. As in Essex ONTARIO.

Not exactly Nova Scotia. It's looking like Nova Scotia is going to
have to wait.

Here's what happened. Our unconditional real estate offer fell
through. So we are still stuck with a house which isn't selling. I
would go into the reasons for this but it might be libelous.

And, at roughly the same time the house deal fell through, my
accommodations for the winter in Bear River also fell through.

So right now, the message I am getting from the universe at large is
to sit for a while, don't do anything drastic. Nova Scotia can still
happen, just not yet. And in the meantime, there are lots of reasons
to be down here.

I'm only in Essex temporarily and will be moving to Windsor in a
couple of weeks (which isn't far -- Essex is only half an hour from
Windsor) Right now I'm taking care of my sister Lori's 6 and 10
year old daughters while she is away working for GM doing training in
China. Mike, her husband, is here and he is quite a capable and good
dad, but it's still a lot easier on everybody that I'm here. And I'm
having a good time with the little girls, which is one of the reasons
I thought being down here was a good idea. It's also a really Big
Deal to them that I'm here .. makes me feel real important. It's a
good opportunity to be part of their lives and Lori's. They really
need a cool aunt on the scene, at least until they get their first
tattoo anyway.

And the other reason is that I still have a reasonably intact
personal and professional network of people down here in Windsor.
And I've already been offered a place to live -- my long time friend
Mary Atkinson has asked if I would like to live with her in her very
large and cool house near the university. I lived with Mary and her
family when I was going to university and again when I went out to BC
25 years ago. The whole Atkinson family has been a big part of my
life for a long time and it's wonderful to be able to spend time with
them again.

It's all falling into place. This Windsor move is only temporary, I
promise myself. It's a good solution in the short term also, because
I am planning to do some major travelling next year -- first to
Findhorn in Scotland, an amazing community just north of Inverness.
And my friend Dave is applying for a grant to do another global
issues radio project which he will probably get. If he does, I will
be going to Asia to do some stories for him -- still doing my
research, but I am thinking I would like to go to the Himalayan
region of India and also to Nepal. Once I'm there, it's really
really cheap to stay for a while. So I might spend a couple of
months there. Not until next fall because I want to avoid monsoon
season. Which gives me some time to settle in here for a bit.

I've got some work happening and some interesting projects that will
keep me happy and productive. I'm going to be putting together a new
workshop schedule over the next little while -- so for all the
people who have asked me to do a workshop for them sometime, this
would be a great time.

I'm starting to get my groove back. Or maybe I shouldn't use the
word "back" because it's not at all the same groove it used to be. I
think it's much better even if it is still a difficult transition. I
still spend too much time belting out choruses of " Your Cheatin'
Heart". Or just being sad -- I keep thinking it's going to get
better but it's been so much harder since I got back from Nova
Scotia. Part of me wishes there was some way to pull this back
together again and forget that we ever did such a silly thing as
split up.

But it's done. except for jointly owing a house with a curse on it
... I minimize what a bad situation this house deal situation is
because I can't do a thing about it. I'm doing all that I can.

Happy thanksgiving, all of you. I thank you for being there for
being there for me, and for being the collection of wonderful people
that you are. It is really gratifying to know that I have a very
large circle of friends out there, all the way from Ottawa to
Kentucky. And Vancouver, and Seattle, and Brandon, and Kelowna, and
San Francisco. And all over the place.

You have held me up, and you keep on doing it. I'm here for you too,
getting stronger and stronger all the time. I can take care of you
too. And I want to.

Love
Victoria

PS -- you can still email me at fenner@magneticspirits.com -- I am
picking up messages every day. Would love to hear from you.

I don't know if these are the Himalayas or not, but they sure are magnificent.  

War and Peace

I've been having a lot of discussions lately about traditional activism and what works and what doesn't work so well anymore.

A lot of this has stemmed from my growing conviction that we cannot work for justice and create a culture of peace in this world unless we are coming from a centre of peace ourselves. I know this from personal experience .. sometimes I feel like the past two years has been about being sent to the mountaintop to be still. Instead of rushing around trying to accomplish things from a place of frantic activity.

I still have many things to learn. The times when I need to be still are the times when I can't get myself to do it. But I guess that's why meditation and prayer are called a "practice" .. because we need lots of it.

I think one of the reasons I never did a lot of work on myself in the past is because it felt narcissistic and self-centred. Now I am starting to realize there is a difference between being self-absorbed and having a strong sense of self. Because without a strong sense of self, how can we effectively do the social change work that we are called to do?

So much activist work is based on anger and fear. One of the best things to happen in a long time is a growing realization by many people that our activism is so much stronger when coming from a solid spiritual core. And not necessarily in the "religious sense".

I found a wonderful web page on the principles of spiritual activism. It's here if you want to read the whole thing.

These are the main points: (Source: Global Renaissance Alliance -- see link above)

1. STILLNESS AS AN ACT OF POWER
The cultivation of a quiet mind is the most effective antidote to chaos.

2. ENVISIONING AS AN ACT OF POWER
In the material realm, power is determined by material wealth; in the spiritual realm, power is determined by spiritual wealth.

3. INTERPERSONAL HEALING AS AN ACT OF POWER
The source of war lies in each of us, as does the source of peace. As we rid our own hearts of the spark of violence, we are fostering peace in the world.

4. DEPTH OF INSIGHT AS AN ACT OF POWER
The most powerful axis of activism today is vertical rather than horizontal. The depth of a conversation is more important than how many people are involved in it.

5. RADICAL GOOD WILL AS AN ACT OF POWER
Recognition and affirmation of the spiritual innocence in all human beings creates a field of possibility for the emergence of miracles.

6. CREATING SACRED SPACE AS AN ACT OF POWER
The simple configuration of people gathered in a circle, sharing prayer and meditation and heartfelt conversation, casts a web of healing power affecting not only the members of the circle but the world at large.

7. SPIRITUALLY CENTERED ACTION AS ACT OF POWER
The New Activist wields power by standing for what could be, as opposed to fighting what is. Making a stand for a new possibility, we attain the power to create it.

Pretty powerful, eh?

And speaking of activism on a slightly different tangent, there's a good chance I could be in the Himalayas in the spring working on a new radio series called "The Green Planet Monitor". For some reason, any of my ideas about staying in one place for a long time just don't seem to be gathering any steam. I think my address for a while is supposed to be No Fixed Address. And hey, why not?

One of my friends remarked that this must be really stressful for me to not have a home. But really, it's not. I've done this many times before and there's something about wandering around that I really like.

Just wish I could get this Hamilton house situation wrapped up so that I can have no ties to place at all. That's the only thing really dragging me down right now .. and also because as long as Barry and I co-own the house, we can't really walk away from each other as we both would like to do right now. But maybe there's a gift in that somewhere too ... think I'd better go sit on the dock and meditate for a while.

See! Red trees. On Eagle Lake Road. I told you it's a red fall. Stay tuned for pictures of the lake tomorrow. 

Leavin' the City

I just don't want to live in a city anymore. At least not full time anyway. Today I got in the car and headed up north to my mom and dad's place in South River (about 3 hours north of Toronto for them what aren't from around these parts). The further I got from Hamilton, the better I felt. And now it's real good.

It's turning out to be a red fall. Few leaves turning until around Orillia. The air is very cool with hints of winter. A roaring fire is a wonderful luxury and the lake view from outside my bedroom window is peaceful and healing and calming.

Part of me is tempted to stay here for the winter and see what the springtime brings. The east coast still beckons, though. And if I can get out there before the snow starts to fly and the geese are all gone I might still do it.

Back in southern Ontario again sometime either Sunday or Monday. In the meantime, I am really glad to be here.

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Cyndy (my sister). And Happy Michaelmas Day (the feast Day of St. Michael, Guardian Overlord of the Angelic Hosts (or, in layperson's terms -- Head Angel.)

He is often invoked to intercede against The Powers of Evil, Temptation, Storms at Sea and any times when fear and negativity are present. And because it is fall and the light is diminishing, this is the time when the light of Archangel Michael is often called upon.

He is also the patron saint of hatmakers and there is a lovely daisy (the Michaelmas Daisy) named after him. I would imagine that a hat with Michaelmas daisies on it would be a good thing indeed (I bought 10 hats this summer .. maybe this needs to be my 11th)

Thought you would all like to know in case you're feeling a bit fearful and need some more light in your life.

Ramblin' on

I promise I'll post a picture one of these days for some eye candy. I don't have a digital camera right now and all my pix are on my other computer which is not hooked up to the internet. Soon. Soon.

Still wanderin' around, going from place to place and remembering that many societies have lived like this. Only they didn't have a car to use as a storage locker.

I've been pretty bummed out about this house situation ... it feels better when I remind myself that property is a pretty emotional thing, bringing up all kinds of issue of security, territoriality and a mix of other things. I don't think we're really in our right minds when we're doing the real estate regardless of whether one is a buyer or a seller.

At this point, I'm quickly deciding not to let this delay my trip indefinitely. I'm going sometime between October 20 and 31. I will be fine, I tell myself. The explorers of olde left their homeland with much less than I have. I will be fine.

I am working on the whole issue of detachment from material things, at the same time as working on getting more grounded in the material world. Sounds like a contradiction? Actually, it's not. We can only detach from the world when we feel secure in it. So that's what I am working on.

I also remind myself that one of my heroes is Dorothy Day, co-founder of the Catholic Worker Movement. Throughout her life, she worked on building a movement devoted to social justice. For her, that meant freeing herself from the trappings of material success. The Catholic Worker, a newspaper which is still being published today, as well as her many Catholic Worker houses were built on no material security. Just God's grace. She did a lot of good, and one of the reasons is because she wasn't afraid.

I am trying to be fearless too. It's a long, slow process but it's getting easier every day as long as I remember what's really important and what isn't. Which sometimes happens for 10 minutes a day!