hey Luddites

okay, I'm having a better day today. Things are really good down here and I am very glad I came. Right now I am spending some time after drinking a bit too much wine and gin and tonic -- need coffee for tomorrow morning so? I am writing this while I wait for the effects to wear off and I can drive. It's only 7:30 and the superstore in Digby doesn't close until 9 so there's time yet.

Wow, what to say now? I am planning to post a couple of pictures tomorrow of the tide on Bear River. I've also been spending some time down on the French Shore -- more about that later.

Tomorrow is Canada Day so I'm going to do some Canada Day stuff with my sister Cyndy and her S.O. Tony. We'll likely go into Digby and maybe Annapolis Royal and back here to Bear River for the community ham dinner.

I have lots to say about a lot of things (as usual) but I'm not feeling like it right now.

More later

Anybody out there?

Geez, you guys. I feel like I'm shouting out into the world and nobody's hearing me. If I wanted to talk to myself I'd stick with radio.

Ya, I'm in a pissy mood this morning. Still having a good time but I'm not hearing much from anybody. And I'm getting nothing on email except spam and George Lessard.

So where the fuck are the rest of you? Sorry for crabbing at you.

I take that back. I'm not.

Love
Vic

Quiet days ..

Hey everybody .. a couple of you are probably wondering why I haven't posted much in a couple of days. It's been a couple of days of just doing stuff and I haven't felt much like getting poetic in print.

Went to a solstice celebration on Wednesday. Nice people and it was really groovy. Drove back alongside a sun setting in colours of pink and orange reflecting on the blue water. If beauty could kill, I'd be dead by now.

Today I went in to Digby with Simone .. we went down by the docks and watched a fishing boat being unloaded. Big fish .. cod, pollock and halibut they said it was. And then tonight there was a benefit for Les and for Norma here in town .. both of them have cancer so their friends came out and raised some money to help them with money to live on. It's a good community that way.

Tomorrow I think I'll head down to the French Shore, which is the other side of Digby. Still a lively Acadian culture down there and it looks like a cool place to explore. And then tomorrow night, my next door neighbour Robin is opening her new art gallery. She has two themes in her show -- one is focussed on storms and has lots of blacks and greys. The other theme is world domination by Mickey Mouse with some very critical things to say about American culture. There's some really good stuff there in a dark kinda way. I'll post some pictures tomorrow.

Another thing that's very cool -- I offered to do an information session on starting a community radio station and the idea is really catching on. Turns out there are several groups along the Fundy coast who have been thinking along these lines.

Oh, it is indeed a time of adventure and new possibilities.

one more picture 

Our Baby from the Sea

Our Baby from the Sea 

The other day, Simone gave me a call and suggested we take the boys and go for a picnic at Sandy Cove. It was a beautiful sunny day and so we did. We had sandwiches, sand cookies, sandwatermelon, and sand in our shoes .. despite being a rather gritty experience it was good to find a soft sandy beach because so many beaches around here are rocky.

After our sandpicnic we headed down the beach. The little boys saw her first .. she was so small, so friendly and she came right up to the boys. Being the protective mama, Simone held them back but crouched down and talked to the baby seal. Some kind of bond happened between them -- Simone says she doesn't know if the seal was trying to talk to her, or to Sammy (on her back). Was it baby trying to talk to mama, or a baby talking to another baby?

We went back down the beach a ways thinking that our presence was keeping her from going back into the water. We went back half an hour later and she was still there. She started to use her little flippers to come towards us when she saw us, and when we went to leave, she tried to follow us. Just like a little puppy.

She eventually did go back into the water. We also saw four adult seals kicking and splashing out in the water. We were worried that she lost her mama, but we had to just let it go and realize that the sea would take care of her. Ben and Max wanted to bring her home, of course.

Simone and I still don't know what the little gal was trying to say to us. Maybe we aren't supposed to figure it out.

Finally! A picture. The ditchbanks and fields are full of lupins. 

When the Tide Goes Out ...

Thanks to the good friends out there who have been able to see past my chirpiness and ask how I REALLY am. You know me so well.

So I thought I'd share a bit of the less happy side .. partly to reassure you all that I really am doing well. My moments of sadness still come ... I had a cryin' day today but there are many things around me that remind me that tears are just a part of the process when big changes happen, not the whole thing.

So this morning I got up and did a lot of yoga .. a good yoga session can often release stuck feelings and this morning it did. But the sun came out for the first time since I got here, I got to hang a load of wash on the line and I felt all renewed in some basic way.

Then Ursula and I went for a walk up-hill. WAAAY uphill to the top of the mountain to the Bear River Mi kmaq (pronounced MIG-maw) reserve. We stopped in at the Beartown Basket Company and had a great conversation with Chief Greg McEwan about buying video cameras and doing documentaries. And he made me a Spirit Wand .. hard to describe what it is except that it's great as a musical instrument and maybe even casting spells. Haven't tried that yet.

The trip down was a lot easier. Gravity is such a good thing when you're coming down the mountains. One of the best things was a certain part of the road where I could hear the waterfalls of upper Bear River. Very powerful sound.

Then when I was almost home, I picked a big bouquet of purple lupins, yellow lilies and white and yellow daisies. They grow wild and are stunning to look at. I have a bouquet in a vase in the middle of my table reminding me of all the beauty and goodness there is in this place and in this world and in the hearts of me and others.

And another thing I do to keep cryin' days at bay .. I cry as long as I need to then put on some good ol' rock and roll. Bach just doesn't do it on days like this. I need energy.

Time to take Ursula for a walk. The tide is in full right now. Like my friend Simone told me last time I was here .. looking at the river is one of the most healing things about Bear River. The tide goes out, the river empties, but it always fills right back up.

Thanks for caring. I'm doing well.

The wheels are turning

Had a lovely afternoon touring the area with Tim, Simone, Ben (age 4), Max (age 3) and Sammy (one tomorrow). We also went for a lot of walks .. very slow ones. It's good to slow down. they are a lot of fun .. stopping to see a fire truck was the big deal today.

We drove along the coast of the Annapolis Basin and looked at a lot of water, a lot of rocky beaches and a lot of real estate. I am thinking it would be so good to live in Ontario 6 months out of the year (because the funding for my projects is better in Ontario) and then come out here for 6 months out of the year. There are lots of houses that would make really good arts retreat centres with just the right atmosphere.

Oh, the ideas never quit. I am thinking that I may never come home. But then I get thinking about all those pictures I've seen of Nova Scotia snowfalls and think that maybe the summer here is the best idea.

After having galavanted all over two counties this morning (AND found a new Frenchy's!) it's time to stay home tonight. Got some fits of writing coming on. And piano to be played. I would love to go get a bottle of wine -- my Muse (aka Creative Spirit) gets really playful when she has a bit of wine. But I have promised myself that I might be able to buy one of the gorgeous hats I tried on last week if I save up my money (there is a stunning purple broadbrimmed hat with an ostrich feather that I am lusting after. All it will take is the cost of 6 cheap bottles of wine and I've got it. Tonight I can count bottle #1 foregone towards the price.)

There have been a couple of allusions to the infamous Frenchy's so far on this blog. Frenchy's, for all of you uninitiated, is kind of like Value Village but much more chaotic, rustic and much better buys if you look carefully. The other day I bought a suit handmade in Indonesia with mother of pearl buttons and shiny silky patches of fabric and embroidery on the collar and pockets. Brand new -- still had the label on it -- and it only cost me 8 bucks for a pair of pants, a sleeveless top and matching pants. Easily a $200 suit. It is perfect for art openings -- countercultural in an elegant kind of way.

Well, must go put on supper ... without wine ... oh, the sacrifice we make for gorgeous hats and other things of beauty.

I'm still thinking of not coming home ...

72 Hours in Bear River

I don't know where to begin. It's just beautiful here. I"m settling in nicely, Ursula and I have gone for some good walks up many steep hills. I went to yoga last night, and between yoga and the hills, I am really starting to feel my legs under me.

For the first couple of days I just hung out, had lunch with Robin my next door neighbour (who's opening her new gallery on June 25). I've also been over to Tim and Simone's a couple of times for dinner. I've already been asked if I will do a sound art workshop for the local artists, so I am having a pot luck and sound thing over here in the carriage house next week (it's a great performance space ... I feel like I'm living in a theatre). I've also offered to do an information session on starting a community radio station because this is the perfect place to have one. And I just got an email from a friend in Halifax asking if I can come down to help him for a couple of days on his documentary. So I'm even getting some paid work ...

It's feeling really good. This afternoon I'm going to go pick some flowers .. the lilacs are still in bloom and there are lupins everywhere.

I am getting so many ideas for new things to do. That's all for now .. I wrote something longer yesterday but for some reason the computer lost it. So I'm going to keep it short.

Still working on how to upload pictures from my camera. I have a lot of good ones so I will work on it.

The dogs just came in ... they sure get my attention. In the next couple of days I'll devote a whole chapter to Ursula, Seamus and Bronx. They're quite a team .. big enough between the three of them to pull a dog sled.

Hey, how about adding some comments, folks! That's what these blog things are for. I feel like I'm talking to myself here. All you have to do is click on the word "comment" on the bottom and a screen pops right up. Easy.

I'm here

So good to feel ground under my feet that isn't moving. I'm now in Bear River and it is just as magical as I remember it. Went for a walk with Ursula as a light rain was falling. It is green, green, green here, the lilacs are at their peak and there are also rhododendrons (one of my favourite plants).

The silence was so deep last night I could almost feel it on my skin. Ever had that feeling before?

The trip was pleasant and uneventful .. no flat tires, moose on the highway or speeding tickets. We went as far as Gananoque the first night where we spent the night at my friend Deb's place. It was hot so we pitched the tent in the backyard. And also went swimming in the St. Lawrence which was really a good idea on a hot summer evening.

Next day we were going to go as far as Quebec City but it was raining so we kept on going until the rain cleared. Had a cool but rainless night camping at Riviere du Loupe. It was a bit surreal -- our campground was down by the ferry dock and right across from "Chateau de Noel", a bit Christmas castle with towers and turrets lit up on into the night. And there was this motel that could only have been created in Quebec -- the Motel Loupi, name proclaimed in six foot high letters on the roof line. "Loupi"s picture was also on all the signs -- he looked more like a bear than a loup (wolf). I want to stay there someday just because it is just so ... out there. And also because Riviere du Loup is just down from the place where the St. Lawrence meets the Sageunay River ... the point where fresh water meets salt water. Lots of whale watching, tide pools, star fish and a really neat ecosystem.

The rest of the trip was long .. went all the way from Riviere du Loup (Quebec) through New Brunswick and all the way to Tremont Nova Scotia which is where my sister was going. Got in at 11 pm, I slept in Tony's (Cyndy's boyfriend) camper van and on the road to Bear River which was only an hour up the road.

Made a wonderful seafood chowder last night which I shared with my neighbour Robin, then made a really early night of it. Today I'm still getting settled in and am still in total amazement that I am going to be here in this wonderful place for three whole weeks.

More later. I need a bath -- my bathtub is a big old clawfoot next to a window looking out over the trees. I am being so well taken care of.

more later
Love
Victoria

We're going .. really

I thought it might be a bit optimistic to plan to leave at 8 am. Especially after my buddy Andy showed up with many bottles of wine to be consumed.

But we are almost ready. We were planning to go as far as Montreal tonight and then my mother called and said it's Grand Prix weekend. Forget trying to find a campsite, hotel room or even a patch of gravel to park on for the night. So instead we are camping in my friend Deb's backyard in Gananoque. Which is beautiful -- we'll get there in time for supper and a swim and by any luck will make it to Quebec City tomorrow.

You might not hear from me for a few days unless I find some small Quebec town with an internet cafe. Or a campground with wireless Internet (this is a very strange concept, isn't it?)

Must go.

As I pack, a song I wrote a long time ago is going through my head:

"They say the mountains cry out to you
The wild winds all shout to you
The forests, they won't let you go.
The whole world's your home
God knows where you're roamin'
When you're wearing your travelling shoes"
- V. Fenner c. 1982 (believe it or not!)

VF's Top Ten

I haven't even begun to think about what clothes to bring. The car needs to be cleaned out. I don't even have a To-Do list yet. But I have got my CDs all picked out. Most important things first, ya know.

My CD case will hold about 35, but to simplify matters I thought I would post just my absolute favourites so you know what I'm singin' and hummin' on down the road.

The list, in no order of preference:

1. Watershed - Grievous Angels - great songs about people heading off across the country, mostly in search of work "I'm startin' over at 30 like I did at 25". "And you just don't know, you just don't know, you just don't know how bad I want to go home". One of my favourite bands, the Grievous Angels' driving force is Charlie Angus, now a MP for somewhere up north (way north of the tourist line) and a strong advocate for environmental and human rights. Looks real unnatural in a tie though.

2. Dixie Chicks - Wide Open Spaces - 'cause the name says it all.

3. Joan Osborne - Righteous Love - I don't know a lot about Joan Osborne but she had a major role in the wonderful documentary, Standing in the Shadows of Motown. Having grown up across the river from Motor/Murder City, a good fix of the motown sound is always a great idea.

4. Glenn Gould - The Goldberg Variations - an avowed atheist friend of mine once said that the music of Bach is the only convincing argument he's heard for the existence of God. If you play this while looking at a snowy mountain peak or the ocean as the tide is coming in, you'll find a few more arguments. Truly sublime.

5. Rick Reimer - The Killaloe Rastaman - this CD is about finding heaven another way. Before I got this CD, I'd only heard Rick sing around the campfire late at the end of a long night of partying. So when I heard he put out a CD, I was skeptical. It's great, lots of fun and you just can't be sad when you listen to it. Good music and very political -- Rick is a lawyer who is a leader in the fight for the decriminalization of the venerable weed who lives in a place that is like nowhere else on earth.

6. Leonard Cohen - The Future - because his lyrics are divine. And his voice so unique. You don't get much better than "Closing Time" and "Democracy" in terms of evocative poetry.

7. Diana Krall - The Girl in the Other Room - Beautiful, sensitive, silky, poignant, lyrical and she's from Nanaimo. For quiet nights watching the tide go out and looking at the sun going down (and a bottle of wine if you're stopped for the night).

8. Saffire - The Uppity Blues Women - Live and Uppity - raunchy, insensitive and brutally honest. And did I mention a hell of a lot of fun. The UPW are a group of women in their forties, fifties and sixties who can really growl out a tune. With titles like "Bitch with a Bad Attitude", "Silver Beaver" (yes, it is about what you think it's about ..) and a little number where the chorus goes "I need a young, young man to chase away my middle aged blues.

9. The Best of Emerson Lake and Palmer - Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. I used to love those '70's art rock bands. Then I grew up and realized Rick Wakeman was kinda tacky. But Jethro Tull still rocks (Aqualung should be on this list too but I'm running out of top ten spots). And ELP still really holds up. Even if they forgot to put Benny the Bouncer on the collection. Karn Evil 9 is there, so that almost makes up for it.

10. Parliament's Greatest Hits - heavy funk, wonderful for rush hour traffic where you're not going very far very fast -- you can put the car in neutral and groove with every part of the body that isn't needed to keep the car inching ahead. Or just dancing on the beach with headphones on. And political "They call it the White House, but that's just a temporary condition .."

So guess I'd better go think about packing all the other necessities of life. Airing out the tent. Figuring out what I need for food. And books. Got any recommendations before I hit the road?

Movin' on down the road

Hey friends. I really am heading toward Central Blissville. Central Blissville is a tiny town in New Brunswick that a friend of mine told me about. It's just a little ways from St. John and is a collection of a few houses.

I will try to go there just so I can take a picture. I am heading further than that .. to a small village called Bear River. It's on a tidal river near Digby, Nova Scotia -- a dramatic little place where the river empties 30 feet of water twice a day. I'm going to this particular place because my wonderful friends Simone and Tim have offered me the use of a one bedroom studio for a month.
And it has a piano.

During my time away, I'm going play piano lots (WITHOUT sheet music in front of me so I can learn to improvise .. something I've always wanted to do better). I have a couple of audio pieces that I am working on, writing I want to do. And I also hope to learn more about film/video documentaries from my friend Tim Wilson who is a very talented producer of both radio and TV.

And I'm going to do a whole bunch of wandering around, breathe the clean salt air deeply, make lots of seafood chowder (because Digby is, after all, the the world capital of the inshore scallop fleet). But first, I am going to have a long, leisurely drive with my sister Cyndy, camping at places along the way and just taking our time and enjoying being on the road.

I'll be posting pictures (once I learn how to do it!) so you'll be able to see what I am up to. Please post comments and say hi to me along the way -- Bear River has a public internet site so there will be no shortage of wires to link me with my friends.

I'm leaving Saturday morning, so wish me bon voyage and blow me a kiss goodbye.