Canadian Humour

A friend of mine in the States sent this to me. It was fun to be able to tell her I've flown with Westjet, and yes, the quotes are probably accurate.

FWD: You've got to love the Canadian sense of humor.

West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary, Alberta.
West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety
lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
On a West Jet flight there is no assigned seating, you just sit where
you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a
flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out
furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
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On another West Jet Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,
the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and
will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to
enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
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On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's
something we'd like to have."
____________________________________
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out
of this airplane."

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"Thank you for flying West Jet Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us
the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at the Vancouver
airport, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
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After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Ontario, a
flight attendant on a West Jet flight announced, "Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that,
sure as hell everything has shifted."
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From a West Jet Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard West Jet Flight 245
to Calgary. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the
buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you
don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
-- -------------------

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend
from the ceiling, stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.
If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before
assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
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"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,
nobody loves you, or your money, more than West Jet Airlines."
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"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
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"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything lef t behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
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And from the pilot during his welcome message: "West Jet Airlines is
pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in
the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
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Heard on West Jet Airlines just after a very hard landing in Edmonton;
The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a
bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't
the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight
attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

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Overheard on a West Jet Airlines flight into Regina on a particularly
windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was
really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight
Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Regina. Please remain
in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's
left of our airplane to the gate!"

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Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We
ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal."

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An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited,
smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline."
He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking
the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
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After a real crusher of a landing in Halifax, the attendant
came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until
Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching
halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning
bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way
through the wreckage to the terminal."

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Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank
you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the
insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we
hope you'll think of West Jet Airways."

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Heard on a West Jet Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish
to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can
light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

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A plane was taking off from the Winnipeg airport. After it reached a
comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the
intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome
to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Winnipeg to Montreal. The weather ahead
is good and, therefore, we should ha have a smooth and uneventful flight.
Now sit back and relax.. OH, MY GOD!"

Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on
the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I
scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant
accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the
front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You
should see the back of mine!"

Another favourite picture

In the final stages of winter (supposed to be spring, but it's still snowing), it's so nice to go back to my India/Nepal/Sri Lanka pictures and feel the warmth.

Different pictures jump out at me at different times. I have just rediscovered this one. I was at the Elephant Orphanage in Sri Lanka and a group of school kids asked if they could take my picture with them. So then I asked one of them to take a picture with my camera. And I just love the way it turned out.

Good Work, Mom and Dad!

Today is my parents 52nd anniversary. April 9, 1955 was the day. The place was Ruscom United Church, in a small village (hamlet, really) about 40 kilometers from Windsor. A farming community populated by people who were mostly all related to each other (by marriage, not all by blood). My mom and dad lived only a couple of kilometers from each other but somehow didn't get to know each other until they were teenagers. They met detassling corn, and their first date was at the stock car races.

For fifty two years they've kept it together. Pretty amazing from my vantage point ... I am in the final stages of ending mine after 21 years. I can remember times which were tense, especially when we were teenagers. But they're still together.

And I'm glad. I wouldn't have wanted them to stay together "for the kids" if they weren't happy. But I don't think they stayed together just for us. They did it for them. Which is the way it should be.

Hope you have lots and lots more anniversaries, Mom and Dad.

Love from your five girls,
Marianne, Dianne, Victoria, Lori and Cindy
and your two little girls .. Elizabeth and Emily

(PS - The other people in the picture are my sisters Marianne and Dianne, and my brother in law George. I guess you can tell who my mom and dad are ... this picture was taken on Christmas Day 2006)

Remember This

This from my wonderful friend Angelyn Debord in the mountains of Virginia:

Speak the following lines out loud:

I love everything about me
I love my uncanny beauty and my bewildering pain
I love my hungry soul and my wounded longing
I love my flaws, my fears, and my scary frontiers

I will never forsake, betray, or deceive myself
I will always adore, forgive, and believe in myself
I will never refuse, abandon, or scorn myself
I will always amuse, delight, and redeem myself